Robbie the Wise

I was tucking my two year old in when he says "Goodbye Dad" so I tell him we say goodnight. He looks at me and says "I know but tonight it's goodbye".

That will never happen again in a million years.

The screenshots... keep them secret, keep them safe.

The strange man watched with glee as the two sisters barricaded their bedroom door with a dresser. For they did not know that he was already in the closet, waiting.

Snape. Snape. Severus Snape.

firetruck you King's Shield!

He took a detour into the forest and she said "It's so dark and scary here". He turned to her and said "What are you scared about I'm the one who has to walk out alone."

was eating dinner with my wife when I got a call from my credit card company. They wanted to confirm my recent arsenic purchase.

"You were my mommy before the last time we died too," your daughter tells you in a booming sing-song voice as she adjusts another puzzle piece. The light in her eyes seems to go out a moment later, as she whispers to you, "it's going to be much more painful this time."

"After my grandfather died I went through our old family photos, looking at his smiling face and letting myself get swept up by my memories. I was so deep in my nostalgia that it took me a moment to realize I was seeing his face in photos taken weeks after his funeral.

You hear your mom calling you into the kitchen. As you are heading down the stairs you hear a whisper from the closet saying “Don’t go down there honey, I heard it too.”

After struggling desperately to move any part of his paralytic body just to alert the doctors that he was conscious before they made the first incision, he was relieved to see that one of the nurses had noticed his pupils dilating from the bright light. She leaned in close and, in a whisper that tickled his ear, said "you think we don't know you're awake?"

woke up to hear knocking on glass. At first, I though it was the window until I heard it come from the mirror again.

 I begin tucking her into bed and she tells me, "Robert, check for monsters under my bed." I look underneath for her amusement and see her, another her, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, "Robert, there's somebody on my bed."

What a productive week. I reached my 100 mile quota for running today, successfully put on another pledge line, aced two term papers and threw a crazy First Day of Spring Break party. I have officially earned the right to goof off all day today

Holy firetruck my friends are crazy

Welp I'm off to some mischief peace out mofos.

Go for a jog or slack off untill my next activity?

Why must I have so much to do on this gorgeous day.