You know, I must be hated by God. Whether it's because I am Catholic and just don't give a damn about God or pray or something like that, or not, so far, God is like pulling bad pranks on me. Frankly, I haven't be in a good mood or as a matter a fact, I have been in a "leave me alone" mood.
The story is that my grandmother is in the hospital. Why? Because she had a mini stroke and was not feeling good. This really pisses me off that ANOTHER family member is in the hospital and shit like that. Frankly, I would be less angry and sad if this didn't happen in a third time. Last year, my grandfather died of cancer and my uncle died from a kidney diease or a kidney faliure (not sure). They both were in the hopsital and were dying.
Now I wasn't pissed that my uncle died, because of 1) I really didn't know the guy and 2) This guy doesn't talk to me, for no reason. But I felt bad that my cousins has no father. Those two girls (my cousins) didn't look like they were affected by that as they were like 5 and didn't really understand too much. However, their brother, was affected greatly. He is 11, I think. He was pretty much sad about it and that is what really made me sad about the whole situation. And their mom must now be very stressed as she now has to take care of all three alone.
However, this really, really, really made me sad. My grandfather died of cancer. He was fighting it and apparently he lost. But it seemed he lost before he died, as on Thanksgiving, he seemed lifeless and looked like he just was dead from the start. It was a disaster for my whole family. As a matter a fact, it was a like a nightmare for each and every single one of us, here in our family. And at the funeral, just looking at him just made me tear up. And I will tell you this: The whole funeral was PACKED!!! So many people knew him. I didn't even know half, even if they were family. He used to be a Judge in my state, so I guess that is understandable. Then we went to some place where we my grandmother was given a flag (as my grandfather served as a soldier in World War 2, fighting against the German Nazis (rather than the Japanese, I guess he was called to fight in Europe instead)) The worst part of the whole thing? He died the day before Christmas Eve which I was pissed about, since my whole family gathers on Christmas Eve, so I didn't even get to see him before he died. Basically, we had dinner and, everyone was very loud when it came to it while I was pretty much slient through out dinner and the whole day. The little ones were still very crazy every year as always. It seemed they looked like it never happened. I happen to be the oldest of the young ones, as I am 14. Even the second youngest, who is younger by a few months, didn't seem to care.
Honestly, God is picking on me. It's like that annoying friend where you just want to shoot him, but instead, you tell him to just shut up every time. My grandmother cannot die this year or ever. It may cause another nightmare just like what happened with my grandfather, and who knows if we will ever have reunions anymore. I highly doubt that would happen but here's the problem. My GF and GM live together in a big house, three blocks away from my house. If both are dead, then how are the taxes going to be payed? They will sell the house to someone else and we won't be having reunions there anymore. And having reunions at a family member's house will be a pain.
So you know what, -puts middle finger at the celling- Yeah, firetruck you too :@:@:@. This guy is making my life so painful and stressful, it's not even funny. And this guy is definitly not going to save my grandmother since he decided to not save my grandfather and my uncle from death. So now, I just have to hope that my grandmother will be able to survive and hopefully live some more years. And get out of the hospital in a couple of days, maybe a week. Otherwise, I am not going to be able to cope with this. It like times where all hope has been crushed, beaten down, killed, chopped up into pieces and flushed down the toliet...
Also, this may not seem like a big deal, but she just had a mini stroke. And it is possible to have another within days. So that's why I am worried about her. She is around 80, and she can't walk that easily. She pretty much has to hold on to something or use a cane, which she hasn't used in a year or two, because of her back.
You know, I must be hated by God. Whether it's because I am Catholic and just don't give a damn about God or pray or something like that, or not, so far, God is like pulling bad pranks on me. Frankly, I haven't be in a good mood or as a matter a fact, I have been in a "leave me alone" mood.
The story is that my grandmother is in the hospital. Why? Because she had a mini stroke and was not feeling good. This really pisses me off that ANOTHER family member is in the hospital and shit like that. Frankly, I would be less angry and sad if this didn't happen in a third time. Last year, my grandfather died of cancer and my uncle died from a kidney diease or a kidney faliure (not sure). They both were in the hopsital and were dying.
Now I wasn't pissed that my uncle died, because of 1) I really didn't know the guy and 2) This guy doesn't talk to me, for no reason. But I felt bad that my cousins has no father. Those two girls (my cousins) didn't look like they were affected by that as they were like 5 and didn't really understand too much. However, their brother, was affected greatly. He is 11, I think. He was pretty much sad about it and that is what really made me sad about the whole situation. And their mom must now be very stressed as she now has to take care of all three alone.
However, this really, really, really made me sad. My grandfather died of cancer. He was fighting it and apparently he lost. But it seemed he lost before he died, as on Thanksgiving, he seemed lifeless and looked like he just was dead from the start. It was a disaster for my whole family. As a matter a fact, it was a like a nightmare for each and every single one of us, here in our family. And at the funeral, just looking at him just made me tear up. And I will tell you this: The whole funeral was PACKED!!! So many people knew him. I didn't even know half, even if they were family. He used to be a Judge in my state, so I guess that is understandable. Then we went to some place where we my grandmother was given a flag (as my grandfather served as a soldier in World War 2, fighting against the German Nazis (rather than the Japanese, I guess he was called to fight in Europe instead)) The worst part of the whole thing? He died the day before Christmas Eve which I was pissed about, since my whole family gathers on Christmas Eve, so I didn't even get to see him before he died. Basically, we had dinner and, everyone was very loud when it came to it while I was pretty much slient through out dinner and the whole day. The little ones were still very crazy every year as always. It seemed they looked like it never happened. I happen to be the oldest of the young ones, as I am 14. Even the second youngest, who is younger by a few months, didn't seem to care.
Honestly, God is picking on me. It's like that annoying friend where you just want to shoot him, but instead, you tell him to just shut up every time. My grandmother cannot die this year or ever. It may cause another nightmare just like what happened with my grandfather, and who knows if we will ever have reunions anymore. I highly doubt that would happen but here's the problem. My GF and GM live together in a big house, three blocks away from my house. If both are dead, then how are the taxes going to be payed? They will sell the house to someone else and we won't be having reunions there anymore. And having reunions at a family member's house will be a pain.
So you know what, -puts middle finger at the celling- Yeah, firetruck you too :@:@:@. This guy is making my life so painful and stressful, it's not even funny. And this guy is definitly not going to save my grandmother since he decided to not save my grandfather and my uncle from death. So now, I just have to hope that my grandmother will be able to survive and hopefully live some more years. And get out of the hospital in a couple of days, maybe a week. Otherwise, I am not going to be able to cope with this. It like times where all hope has been crushed, beaten down, killed, chopped up into pieces and flushed down the toliet...
Also, this may not seem like a big deal, but she just had a mini stroke. And it is possible to have another within days. So that's why I am worried about her. She is around 80, and she can't walk that easily. She pretty much has to hold on to something or use a cane, which she hasn't used in a year or two, because of her back.