So I met this guy here at college who is very open about his sexuality. Like, he openly admits he's gay. He is in my "core" group of friends, I guess that's what you would call it, and he's a pretty cool guy.

 

But on Halloween he dressed up as a "sexy" witch with make-up, lipstick, heels, the whole nine. When he said he was going to do it I thought he was joking at first, but when I saw him like that I really didn't like the look, and I was honestly embarassed that he was with us for lunch.

 

I mean is it possible to be okay with "regular" gay people but not okay with flamboyant/"flaming" gay people?

 

Like I feel bad that I avoided him for most of the day...anyway I'll see him today in class. But does this mean I'm homophobic?

No, I'm bi and even I feel weird around people that kind of over-do it. To me, liking men does not mean being like a woman

Someone homophobic is someone who clearly states out that they dislike/hate gay people and treat them badly just because of that. Dressing up as a sexy witch must have creeped a lot of people out, at least.

No. Being homophobic means you go out of your way to hate, curse and mortify people who have different sexuality. I, myself have a problem with makeup, overly fancy or flamboyant clothes. I would be uncomfortable too. Unless you hate the guy's guts or to his core, you are not homophobic.

You were just embarassed about his costume that's all. It has nothing to do with that guy's sexuality.

No, I'm bi and even I feel weird around people that kind of over-do it. To me, liking men does not mean being like a woman

Someone homophobic is someone who clearly states out that they dislike/hate gay people and treat them badly just because of that. Dressing up as a sexy witch must have creeped a lot of people out, at least.

 

This!

I'm the same as Kinode. I'm Bi. But I actually don't like flamboyant gay people. They're too much for me. It's just their personalities, it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.

No I don't think that you are homophobic. I ain't either, I have 3 gay friends and I'm totally cool with their sexuality. But the thing is... me and you... we are NOT gay and that is why we are not comfortable with the ACT of gay sexuality. An example: I like and tolerate gay's BUT I don't like to see gay people kissing because it is weird for ME since I don't do that. I bet gay people aren't enjoying to see a heterosexual boy and girl kissing either.

 

Being embarrassed to be seen in public with a drag queen is human because the people could associate you with one which you aren't.

But if you want to achieve true greatness try to ignore people who look funny at you. If he is a good friend stick to him.

I have a bi friend that sometimes I can't be seen with him, but he's a great friend of mine. That doesn't mean that you're homophobic.

Dude if you saw your mom dress like a freggin sexy nurse on halloween with a short tight skirt and tank, would you be embarresed?

and if you are does that mean you hate your mom?

No I don't think that you are homophobic. I ain't either, I have 3 gay friends and I'm totally cool with their sexuality. But the thing is... me and you... we are NOT gay and that is why we are not comfortable with the ACT of gay sexuality. An example: I like and tolerate gay's BUT I don't like to see gay people kissing because it is weird for ME since I don't do that. I bet gay people aren't enjoying to see a heterosexual boy and girl kissing either.

 

Being embarrassed to be seen in public with a drag queen is human because the people could associate you with one which you aren't.

But if you want to achieve true greatness try to ignore people who look funny at you. If he is a good friend stick to him.

 

Can I just love your post

what people fail to understand is that there is a huge hateful line you must cross to be considered homophobic. Just because you are not comfortable with the affectionate gestures between gays doesn't make you homophobic. Unless you are hatefully telling them shit or beating them up, you are not homophobic.

 

I mean, I feel uncomfortable when ANYONE is making out in front of me. Whether be boy/girl, girl/girl, boy/boy. It just makes me feel awkward. I mean I don't think you wouldn't feel awkward if someone was sucking face in front of you.

 

ALSO there is NO connection WHATSOEVER between someone's SEXUALITY AND THE WAY THEY ACT.

I'm gay. I'm a girl. People would probably assume I want to act like a guy and even be a guy. But that's not it. I'm pretty feminine. I wear makeup and jewelry and I enjoy dressing up like a princess and overall I embrace my femininity. BUT GUESS WHAT JUST BECAUSE OF THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M STRAIGHT.

 

The straightest person can act flamboyant and the gayest person can act as straight as stick, or whatever you consider those behavioral traits to be categorized as. And there is nothing wrong with a gay person being flamboyant either. If you aren't comfortable with it, then just don't hang around them. And if they're your friend try to talk to them about it even.

 

Anyways, back on topic

 

People need to stop tossing the word homophobic around so loosely.

Just because you are uncomfortable with certain things doesn't mean you hate them.

Pretty much the same as anyone else said.

 

Just because he did something embarrassing doesn't mean his sexuality plays a direct role in it.

Homophobia is when you decide to announce your resentment towards gay people. Openly.

Secondhand embarrassment isn't relevant.

 

There are a lot of flamboyant gay men (and women) at my school, so I'm pretty used to it.

Don't worry, that's not homophobic, that's normal. The fact that you're friends with him attests to that. You were simply embarassed, that's all. Honestly, I probably would be too, if I were in the same situation. If you were to cut all ties with him and hate him after finding out he was homosexual, THAT would be homophobic.

 

As for me, I think that people should live their lives however they want to. So if a guy wants to love another guy, or a girl wants to love another girl, more power to them.

Nothing homophobic to me. I got lots of lesbian and gay friends but that doesn't weird me out a bit. We're all human anyway.