ok basicly i got this idea from a chuck norris poster in government class so her how it goes u put chuck norris jokes like " Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris." or " Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas." u can use pic's or do what i did with a sentence

ok u understand?

i'll start

 

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him

Leading hand sanitizers say that they can kill 99% of germs.

 

Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the firetruck he wants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

...Chuck Norris is 71. Wrap your mind around that.

Chuck Norris had a heartattack.

Chuck Norris won.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves

chuck norris doesn't read books, he stares at them till they give him the info he wants

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

chuck norris died 10 years ago but death hasn't grown the balls to tell him

Chuck Norris doesnt play "hide-and-seek" he plays "hide-and-pray-I-dont-find-you"

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he doesn't cry.

 

And the one from the World of Warcraft commercial:

 

Chuck Norris is a hunter. But a Chuck Norris does not hunt.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris know's Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris can beat the sun in a staring contest

chuck norris dosn't need twiter he's already follwing you. there once was a street named chuck norris but nobody crosses chuck norris and live's. every night the boogie man check's his closet for chuck norris. oxogen need's chuck norris to live.chuck norris dosn't leave messages he leaves warning's

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends

Chuck Norris can hear sign language

Chuck Norris's blood type is AK-47

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

chuck norris dosn't need twiter he's already follwing you. there once was a street named chuck norris but nobody crosses chuck norris and live's. every night the boogie man check's his closet for chuck norris. oxogen need's chuck norris to live.chuck norris dosn't leave messages he leaves warning's

 

dang somone beat me to the boogeyman one

chuck norris knew that the bird is the word

Dinosaurs ruled the Earth for 65 million years. Then Chuck Norris got hungry again.

If you misspell Chuck Norris on google, it doesn't say "Did you mean________" It says "You better haul ass outta here"

Magicians walk on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman lives.

I clicked on a link that said "Chuck Norris Dies" As soon as I did, my computer crashed.

God said "Let there be light" Chuck Norris said "Say please"

Chuck Norris can sit in a corner of a round room.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.At Night

If Chuck Norris was so awesome, he would show up at my house and slam my face on the keyboaykdssl;iaskk2wl;3dkij9ak­cmdkfjdjs

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs

Chuck Norris was born at 4th May 1945.

Hitler was "caught" at 5th May 1945.

 

Coincidence enough?

Chuck Norris can defeat Sephorith just by starring at him.

Osama Bin Laden didn't die from bullets, he had a heart attack when they hold up a picture of Chuck Norris *oh christ I'm gonna get so much hate for this one*

Chuck Norris once stomped his foot.That was when Pangaea broke up.

Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen San Diego is.

This post was chuck norris approved.

 

 

and I made all of these up on the spot ^w^

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

How was the Universe created?

 

Chuck Norris played a Arm Wrestle game with God and won.

 

After that, he used God's lighter to increase his fart's power and thus the Universe was created.

How was the Universe created?

 

Chuck Norris played a Arm Wrestle game with God and won.

 

After that, he used God's lighter to increase his fart's power and thus the Universe was created.

 

 

Chuck Norris fact: Chuck Norris i actually afraid of god's power, so he went and asked god for his strength. God gave Chuck a tiny crumb of his strength. And Chuck Norris became invincible.

Chuck Norris...

- created the giraffe by upper cutting a horse

- CAN believe it's not butter

- can touch MC Hammer

- has a dollar, and you have a dollar, and he still has more money then you

- when Chuck Norris does push ups, June doesn't go up, he pushes the world down

- can run around the world so fast that he can punch himself in the back of the head

- win the 1970 world series of poker with the 4 of hearts, 7 of clubs, a get out of jail free card and a green number 3 UNO