After spending a night (we'll go with that) with a girl recently, we kept in contact. I often just find her making a conversation over anything. Though it is more just friendly not sexual or flirtatious. Though I am left wondering whether she wants a relationship or if it was just a 1 night stand. Im not going to act like im in love with her, because Im not. But she is nice and I would try dating. Though Im afraid if I ask her if she wants a relationship or anything she might just be like "uh no, it was just sex", and thus ruin what could even be a great friendship. But if she does want a relationship I might lose her if I dont act on it. What should I do?

I also just realised this question doesnt just apply to women, so ignore the title.

Make plans to spend the night together again and see where it goes from there

Instead of asking her to date just ask her to hang out again.  See what happens

Make plans to spend the night together again and see where it goes from there

With other people or just us?

With other people or just us?

Fool. Invite her to a social hang out. I, personally, make movie nights.

With other people or just us?

Depends on how you want things to go I suppose. I guess ask if she'd want to hang out with you and a buddy of yours, maybe she could invite a friend of hers also (give give her the option of just hanging out alone as well). I'm sure if it was *just* a one night stand she wouldn't keep in touch. 

Depends on how you want things to go I suppose. I guess ask if she'd want to hang out with you and a buddy of yours, maybe she could invite a friend of hers also (give give her the option of just hanging out alone as well). I'm sure if it was *just* a one night stand she wouldn't keep in touch.

its mostly because in the past girls usually make it apparent what they want either by never talking to me or going full stalker mode in love with me. This just feels a lot different. I will try to organise something for this weekend without coming on to strong.

Why don't you suggest hanging out? Like going to see a movie or get a burger, or coffee if that's what you like. I'd say it just be the two of you, if she does want to have a relationship with you it'll mean more to her just spending time with you, and she might get the wrong idea and think you aren't interested in a relationship with her if you're constantly hanging around other people.

its mostly because in the past girls usually make it apparent what they want either by never talking to me or going full stalker mode in love with me. This just feels a lot different.I will try to organise something for this weekend without coming on to strong.

Ah I understand. Yeah good idea, you wouldn't want to seem pushy/desperate or whatever. Just start to get to know her better, I hope things work out well for you

Ah I understand. Yeah good idea, you wouldn't want to seem pushy/desperate or whatever. Just start to get to know her better, I hope things work out well for you

Thanks lala

Why would you have sex with a girl that isn't even your friend? People should only have sex if it is with the one they married.

I agree with asking her to hang out.  You never know what will happen.  My cousin's relationship started with a fling and they've been married for 5 and a half years.

Depends on how you want things to go I suppose. I guess ask if she'd want to hang out with you and a buddy of yours, maybe she could invite a friend of hers also (give give her the option of just hanging out alone as well). I'm sure if it was *just* a one night stand she wouldn't keep in touch.

Unless he gave it to her like a jackhammer.

Unless he gave it to her like a jackhammer.

Still wouldn't be a one night stand then if she is wanting to stay in touch and do it again

The whole point (besides  sex) of one night stands is to hopefully never see the person again

(good job to him if he did that though haha)

Why would you have sex with a girl that isn't even your friend? People should only have sex if it is with the one they married.

I think people should have sex with whoever they want, not restricted to commercial living.

I think people should have sex with whoever they want, not restricted to commercial living.

Well think about it like this, you are using your body on someone else's who you won't even remember in a few years unless they are important in your life. I guess I just care about how a girl feels.

Why would you have sex with a girl that isn't even your friend? People should only have sex if it is with the one they married.

I'll be honest here, I wouldn't want to get married to a guy without having sex first and then find out he has a tiny dick.

Well think about it like this, you are using your body on someone else's who you won't even remember in a few years unless they are important in your life. I guess I just care about how a girl feels.

As a girl i don't care if a guy just wants to hook up as long as the feeling is neutral

I guess I was just raised to understand why a person should wait. But that is just me and I can't stop anyone from doing anything else.

Well think about it like this, you are using your body on someone else's who you won't even remember in a few years unless they are important in your life. I guess I just care about how a girl feels.

Are you accusing me of not caring how a girl feels? I didn't rape her for gods sake, she came on to me anyway! If she didn't want to, then we wouldn't. But she did, so we did. So obviously I cared about how she felt. And I still do care how she feels, otherwise I wouldn't be here getting advice.

Stop dating . Continue your life alone . 

Edited February 17, 201411 yr by Nick Sideris

Well think about it like this, you are using your body on someone else's who you won't even remember in a few years unless they are important in your life. I guess I just care about how a girl feels.

 

I guess I was just raised to understand why a person should wait. But that is just me and I can't stop anyone from doing anything else.

While there may be reasons to wait. You can't imply all those who don't are just pleasure seeking jerks who don't care about others. Well you can, but that doesn't make it right.

Are you accusing me of not caring how a girl feels? I didn't rape her for gods sake, she came on to me anyway! If she didn't want to, then we wouldn't. But she did, so we did. So obviously I cared about how she felt. And I still do care how she feels, otherwise I wouldn't be here getting advice.

I'm just saying what if something were to happen like her getting pregnet? How would you feel if that were to happen? Would you be ready to take care of the child, or would you just up and leave and make her deal with your child, making her feel pressure and feel bad about herself? I know someone who had sex and then got pregnet and they were just a junior in highschool and that child is going to have a hard life now. That is why I think it is important to wait until the right moment in case something like that were to happen. That is why I believe in waiting until you are ready and have it with the most special person you will ever meet.

I'm just saying what if something were to happen like her getting pregnet? How would you feel if that were to happen? Would you be ready to take care of the child, or would you just up and leave and make her deal with your child, making her feel pressure and feel bad about herself? I know someone who had sex and then got pregnet and they were just a junior in highschool and that child is going to have a hard life now. That is why I think it is important to wait until the right moment in case something like that were to happen. That is why I believe in waiting until you are ready and have it with the most special person you will ever meet.

You are acting like the guys have a free way out, if something happens. If you can confirm which guy, they are bound to have to help pay child support (when they have an income). And sometimes it is the guy that wants to keep the child and not the girl. Yes, the girl has to go through the pregnancy, but there are cases where it is the guy who will end up taking care of the baby afterwords.And then there are some cases where when that happens both people work together for the baby's sake.Your problem is you are looking at it black and white, good and bad, and only using personal experience. While yes, sometimes people don't care about what happens to the person they did it with, there are times when they do. And marriage isn't the end all be all. There is this thing called divorce.  That tends to happen when people rush into marriage when they weren't ready. This is caused by people thinking they can't have a close relationship without being married and then rush to marriage because they desire one really badly.Of course there are other reasons for divorce, but usually it is because someone didn't understand how to be a good spouse going into it. Am I saying sex helps people become good spouses? NO, not in the least. But I am saying is that when someone rushes into marriage unprepared, they make mistakes that can lead to divorce and possible a split home.

 

I personally don't want to rush into sex or marriage, and I want to find the one that completes my soul (so to speak), but at the same time I will not judge others for taking a different path.To me sex is the closest a couple can physically be, and I would want to share it with the one I feel completes me more than anyone else. And quite possibly I will try to make them the only person I share it with.BUT again, I shall not judge others for taking a different path, nor will I generalize that either the male or the female is inconsiderate or uncaring in a "fling".@xxClouDxxmoon, I wish you luck on getting a friend.

Well like I said, these are my opinions and that I can't force people to think or act the way that. I see things. But the day that I have sex and give away my virginity, it will be with the one that I love more than anything else in the world. I will wait until that person and I are ready. But that is just me, if you disagree with what I plan to do, then that is fine but I can't stop you and you can't stop me.

Well like I said, these are my opinions and that I can't force people to think or act the way that. I see things. But the day that I have sex and give away my virginity, it will be with the one that I love more than anything else in the world. I will wait until that person and I are ready. But that is just me, if you disagree with what I plan to do, then that is fine but I can't stop you and you can't stop me.

Your logic should bare in mind everyone is entitled to their own lifestyle and opinions. You shouldn't look down on others because they don't follow the same path as your own. You also shouldn't have attacked the OP for asking for advice on what was the best thing to do about the situation.

Edited February 17, 201411 yr by devereauxr

Your logic should bare in mind everyone is entitled to their own lifestyle and opinions. You shouldn't look down on others because they don't follow the same path as your own. You also shouldn't have attacked the OP for asking for advice on what was the best thing to do about the situation.

Well I won't say sorry, because I just don't apologize a lot. But I will say that even though I don't understand why someone would have sex with someone they hardly know, that I can't stop people from doing as they are. But I will also say that people need to slow down and think about how they see theirselves in the far future when they are like fifty and see if that sex was worth it or not and think what would happen to them if the girl did have their baby.