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Is It OK To Apologize For Having Feelings For Someone?

Posted

Sorry for asking this. I really am, but I just wanna know if it's OK. And yes I did had something related to this. But if I disobeyed a rule, I'm sorry. I was just curious and asked.

Featured Replies

It'd be like saying "people are mad at you for liking them", wouldn't it? xD

 

Wow, to be hated for liking someone. That just sounds... ridiculous. And kinda harsh... :(

Edited by Steven Drake (SteVentus)

No, because you don't have to apologize for having feelings. Ever.

Pretty much what Svard said!

I think as long as you aren't constantly obsessing over somebody in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable you shouldn't have to apologise at all!

 

For an extreme example when I was in school this boy used to stalk me, invade my personal space, try to kiss me and touch me just because he had feelings for me. That obviously wasn't okay.

 

But just having regular feelings for another person is natural and you shouldn't have to apologise for that! If somebody else wrote me a letter about their feelings I would think it was sweet. I might not have feelings for that person but I wouldn't expect them to apologise. I'd probably be the one apologising back!  xD

Ok, so I've been in this situation. It's a very common queer scenario to feel guilty for having feelings for someone, so I can relate, but it can happen in other situations too, specially when you feel unwanted or like it's way too much of a long shot.

So there are several things to be considered. First off, it's totally okay to like someone, as long as you're not disrespecting them in any way. Your feelings are valid, and obviously intense. But you should also consider certain things, like if you ever make her uncomfortable, or stare at her too much, etc. It may be something you don't realize, but sometimes when you tell someone how you feel about them you can be putting them in a difficult situation as well.

So, basically, I don't think you should apologize for liking her, but if you feel like it put her in an awkward situation, maybe it'd be a good idea to apologize for that. If you feel like she wants space, it'd be wise to respect that and try to get your mind off of it. Try to always do what you feel is adequate.

But don't beat yourself up, regardless of what happens, ok? It's okay to be confident about yourself. Sometimes being different is what makes you extraordinarily gifted, you just have to find your way to express it. I hope this helped you!

You shouldn't feel like you have to apologise for something you can't control,unless it hurts the other person, embrace what you are feeling : )

Edited by EternalReckoning

  • Author

Thanks guys. It's because I liked this girl for six months, and recently found out she in a relationship. I felt then my feelings were dumb, wrong, and useless. My heart was in the wrong place.

Thanks guys. It's because I liked this girl for six months, and recently found out she in a relationship. I felt then my feelings were dumb, wrong, and useless. My heart was in the wrong place.

That's a tough situation, but you shouldn't feel like you were wrong to like her, Ive been in a similar situation more times than I care to admit, but the easiest and healthiest way to do it is to accept what you felt and move on.
  • Author

So that's why I will use my foolproof last resort plan. I will get rejected on purpose to makey heart stronger.

So that's why I will use my foolproof last resort plan. I will get rejected on purpose to makey heart stronger.

Don't ever apologize for having feelings. Like the people above its a natural part of life and its understandable. We've all been there. As long as you aren't disrespecting them or invading there personal space you're fine.

So that's why I will use my foolproof last resort plan. I will get rejected on purpose to makey heart stronger.

 

Just going to put my two cents in here. If you're engaging with someone on an emotional level with a deliberate intent to organize a negative outcome for your own psychological benefit, then you're kind of emotionally manipulating someone else. Staging an intentional rejection might give you a martyr complex, but you're not really doing the other person any favors by virtue of doing so. 

 

The best thing to do in this situation is to accept that the other person is in a relationship with someone other than you, accept their wishes, and move on. 

From personal experience I can tell you that that idea doesn't always work out, as in, you won't get over her and you won't stop hurting. I think that, unless you are friends with this girl, you just build some distance from her. I know it feels like the best thing to do is just tell her and get it over with, but... "proceed with caution", I guess.

I don't think you should apologize for your feelings.  It might make her and yourself just feel bad about the entire thing and create a bad situation for all.  I think it's a very personal decision for you to decide whether to still admit your feelings to her since she already has a boyfriend (as that could backfire terribly or put her in a terrible position of making a difficult decision), but apologies shouldn't be necessary because you feel how you feel.

 

I have never been in this situation and I cannot say whether you should distance yourself and move on or tell her how you feel, but I think it may truthfully be best to try to move on from this situation as best as you can.  The longer you dwell on it and the more attached you become the worse it will be to part ways with her.

No, it's not. Having feelings for someone is a natural thing. Why apologize for something natural?

  • Author

It's just if I embrace with rejection and actually want to be by girls I have feelings for, it'll make my heart stronger.

It's just if I embrace with rejection and actually want to be by girls I have feelings for, it'll make my heart stronger.

Have you ever actually talked to her? You need to at least become friends first rather than just come up to her and say something she won't get. You might be thinking you'll have to apologize because she will be confused and not know why you are telling her how you feel about her. I dunno all this. Thought I might be able to assist as much as I could. :)

 

 

Rock on!

No, it's not. Having feelings for someone is a natural thing. Why apologize for something natural?

 

In that case I don't have to apologise for farting. xD

 

But yeah, as everyone here has stated, as long those feels aren't out of control and take you over, there's no need.

 

Peace!

Dude, you don't have to apologize for having feelings for someone!  You can't deny what your heart feels, and if you've fallen for someone, then that's how you feel! You don't have to apologize to anyone about the way you feel, ya know? :)

  • 5 years later...
On 3/16/2016 at 9:33 PM, The Transcendent Key said:

Dude, you don't have to apologize for having feelings for someone!  You can't deny what your heart feels, and if you've fallen for someone, then that's how you feel! You don't have to apologize to anyone about the way you feel, ya know? :)

nicely put friend. I need some advice tho. I really like this boy, i told him, and he just wants to be friends. Its been a couple of weeks but I just feel like i shouldn't have said anything. I want to apologize to him for having feelings, but at the same time i don't think that's necessary. Every time i think of him i just get butterflies, and it just sucks. I don't know how to really move on. I've tried so many times but my heart always goes back to him. If anyone has any advice please, please tell me. 

                      Thank you...

Edited by anonymous123456

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