This is not mine, I found a nifty tumblr post explaining why the friendzone is sexist bullshit and why 'nice guys' are misogynists.

 

As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”

and ”The perennial location of nice guys everywhere.”

Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?

From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in her not as a sexual object but as a human being and wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being because being “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.

Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to say unrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?

Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”

 

I must say I agree here. The friendzone thing has always kind of bugged me. It's like people automatically assume that someone else is going to like them, and if they don't then they're just such a godly person that the other person won't date them? It's a confusing concept and somewhat stupid. :// Not to say that it doesn't ever happen, because it may on rare occasions, but it's not the case every single time a person gets rejected.

Reading this and hearing that nice guys like me are "assholes" makes me say:

 

"Great! Now I have guilt!"

 

If you're one of the 'nice guys' that I have described, then yes, you're an asshole

But if you're genuinely a nice person, there's no need to get offended.

Reading this and hearing that nice guys like me are "assholes" makes me say:

 

"Great! Now I have guilt!"

 

Why, because the girl of your dreams doesn't like you? http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.png

 

Been there, done that, over with. That's life. Life's tough. More fish in the sea. Shall I go onto movie quotes or did you get the point?

If you're one of the 'nice guys' that I have described, then yes, you're an asshole

But if you're genuinely a nice person, there's no need to get offended.

 

I am genuinely nice, by no means am I throwing people into friend-zones.

 

Why, because the girl of your dreams doesn't like you? http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.png

 

Been there, done that, over with. That's life. Life's tough. More fish in the sea. Shall I go onto movie quotes or did you get the point?

 

Yeah, I got the point. I'm not actually in the friendzone described, but I have before and I got over it. The girl wasn't interested and I left it at that. And no, the girl of my dreams does like me.

 

What I'm really saying was that hearing on how girls get the shit-end of the stick just makes me go, "I suck. I'm not part of the problem, but I suck."

I am genuinely nice, by no means am I throwing people into friend-zones.

 

 

 

Yeah, I got the point. I'm not actually in the friendzone described, but I have before and I got over it. The girl wasn't interested and I left it at that. And no, the girl of my dreams does like me.

 

What I'm really saying was that hearing on how girls get the shit-end of the stick just makes me go, "I suck. I'm not part of the problem, but I suck."

 

You remind me of some people with minor survivor's guilt.

The friendzone is when somebody likes their friend but their friend don't like them back. Well that what I think anyways.

You do know what they say,nice guys finish last unfortunately. Its really stupid that in order to get a girl who looks like she could be a model you have to be the biggest dick in the world. To all the nice guys out there who gives a crap we're better off flying solo anyway .

You do know what they say,nice guys finish last unfortunately. Its really stupid that in order to get a girl who looks like she could be a model you have to be the biggest dick in the world. To all the nice guys out there who gives a crap we're better off flying solo anyway .

 

Why not go gay or bi? ;-; Your true lover doesn't HAVE to be female...right?

Edited April 17, 201213 yr by P50L

Why not go gay or bi? ;-; Your true lover doesn't HAVE to be female...right?

 

You can't just go gay or bi lol

You can't just go gay or bi lol

 

I know, it all takes thought and consideration.

it's really interesting seeing all the compelling arguments you guys come up with. Half of me agrees with the friend zone and half of me doesn't

You do know what they say,nice guys finish last unfortunately. Its really stupid that in order to get a girl who looks like she could be a model you have to be the biggest dick in the world. To all the nice guys out there who gives a crap we're better off flying solo anyway .

 

You misinterpreted everything

Actual nice guys are good

Misogynistic 'nice guys' are bad.

You don't need to be a 'dick' to get a girl

That's bullshit

If she likes you, she likes you, if she doesn't, she doesn't it has nothing to do with if you're an asshole or not, it's what she's attracted to.

 

Why not go gay or bi? ;-; Your true lover doesn't HAVE to be female...right?

 

I know, it all takes thought and consideration.

 

No.

You don't just think about 'going' gay or bi.

You either are or aren't.

It's not something you think about doing and then decide you will be. That's not how it works

No.

You don't just think about 'going' gay or bi.

You either are or aren't.

It's not something you think about doing and then decide you will be. That's not how it works

 

Hmm...alright. But still though, your lover doesn't HAVE to be the opposite gender. .3.

Hmm...alright. But still though, your lover doesn't HAVE to be the opposite gender. .3.

 

of course not

but this thread has nothing to do with that

it's mainly aimed towards straight couples/situations i guess

You do know what they say,nice guys finish last unfortunately. Its really stupid that in order to get a girl who looks like she could be a model you have to be the biggest dick in the world. To all the nice guys out there who gives a crap we're better off flying solo anyway .

 

I doubt the next girl I beat the living out of, would want to marry me in a week. Otherwise, I hope you take showers daily since your hands are going to start smelling after a while...

 

You don't need to be a dick to get a girl, because then you're just a scumbag. It's called ACTUALLY trying to be nice and talk to the girl, and maybe, just MAYBE, you might get a chance. And if you get friendzone'd, oh well, better luck next time. Girls don't actually have to like you, much to contrary belief. As a matter of fact, they can be whoever they want to be with. Because if she doesn't like you more than a friend, then she doesn't like you. The "nice guys" shouldn't take it as a heartbreak, be forever alone when they're other girls, and just plainly hating that girl for the rest of their lives.

 

Your definition of a nice guy is way off. Take a life lesson, you might learn a little.

T_T Let me tell you a story. I was friends with a guy who I was romantically interested in. He, never having a gf in his LIFE I think, totally rushed into a relationship w/o even thinking about his own feelings. I like the friendzone b/c it allows u to get to know each other better w/o RUSHING and to think about your feelings before you act on impulsiveness :-D This way, if you determine that you don't like that said person then you guys can either be friends or move on ( And in case you're wondering this boy and I broke up b/c he "didn't think about his emotions hard enough." And if I sound bitter it's b/c I tend to hold grudges...despite my happy nature...don't mess with me ).

T_T Let me tell you a story. I was friends with a guy who I was romantically interested in. He, never having a gf in his LIFE I think, totally rushed into a relationship w/o even thinking about his own feelings. I like the friendzone b/c it allows u to get to know each other better w/o RUSHING and to think about your feelings before you act on impulsiveness :-D This way, if you determine that you don't like that said person then you guys can either be friends or move on ( And in case you're wondering this boy and I broke up b/c he "didn't think about his emotions hard enough." And if I sound bitter it's b/c I tend to hold grudges...despite my happy nature...don't mess with me ).

 

the friendzone i'm talking about and the friendzone you're talking about are not the same thing lol

the friendzone i'm talking about and the friendzone you're talking about are not the same thing lol

 

....Omg...T.T I'm sorry . Please forgive me for not reading it properly! >_< I've been working on essays the past two days and I think my brain is now mush.

 

 

See what I did there?

Edited April 23, 201213 yr by Paranoia

 

 

See what I did there?

 

Not sure if everything about those two pictures are true, or my firetruck is full of mind.

dead thread but i found this and thought it was gr8

 

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

• *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
• Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
• Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
• Man: I never filled out an application.
• Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
• Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
• Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
• Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
• Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
• Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
• Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
• Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
• Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
• Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
• Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
• Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
• Employee:
• Man:
• Employee:
• Man: firetruck you, slut.

dead thread but i found this and thought it was gr8

 

Of all the times to reach my quota. >:C

in general, i just don't like the word friendzone.

 

and you have to realize, pretty much only guys use the phrase anyways to try to explain why they didn't get a girl.

I don't really like to go by Zones. If you're dating, you're dating. If you're friends, you're friends. If you like eachother but aren't dating but have a thing going well I guess with modern day terms your FWB

Edited July 25, 201213 yr by Libirica