Flirting's a language - and just like with any other language, no one's born a fluent flirt. If you want to know how to flirt like a pro, you've got to learn the signs. Follow these flirt tips and practice till you're an expert flirt.
1. Choose Your Targets
You don't have to have a crush on someone in order to flirt. Practice flirting with random people you see every day - people who might not even be on your dating radar - on order to hone your skills. That way, you'll have some flirting experience under your belt when you approach the people who really matter.
2. Have an Opening Line
Find a reason to talk to the person. If you're in a class with them, come up with a question about an assignment. If they're standing in line behind you at a concert, ask about the band. Get creative, and be ready to respond to whatever they say.
3. Make Eye Contact
If you don't make eye contact, you'll look bored or uninterested, and that's not an impression you want to give. Too shy to look them right in the eyes? Here's a trick: look at the spot right between their eyes. It'll look like eye contact to them.
4. Come Up With a Compliment
Pick one thing you like about the way they look - like their hair, their smile or an article of clothing. Let them know in a friendly way how much you like it. It'll make them feel good and will open them up to you. (If you can't think of an opening line for tip #2, a compliment will do.)
5. Smile
You don't have to go all Bozo the Clown, but the idea is to look like you enjoy talking to them. So be sure to throw them a smile whenever it makes sense. If they shoot one back, you'll know that they like talking to you, too.
6. Flirt With Your Body
The body language you use when you flirt is just as important as what you say. Use good posture, point your body towards the person and try to find excuses to touch them. For more on how to do that, check these body language flirting tips.
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You see someone from across the room and think: Wow. I want to meet them. But how can you be sure that your body language conveys your true intentions - to flirt?
These body language cues are excellent ways to show the object of your interest that you'd like to get to know them better. And if someone uses these cues on you? Flirt right back -- because flirting is harmless, and practice makes perfect.
How To Flirt With Your Eyes
Holding eye contact with someone you find appealing for approximately five seconds is well-used flirt tactic, mostly because it is highly effective, although its ease and simplicity of use doesn't hurt. According to the book, "The Definitive Guide of Body Language," by Alan and Barbara Pease, the person initiating the flirt will - on average - need to lock eyes three times before the flirt recipient catches on.
How To Flirt By Preening
There are many, many ways one groom themselves in public in a flattering yet flirty way, depending on your gender. Ladies can try some hair stroking, posture enhancing, neck exposing, hip tilting (if standing), clothes straightening or lip licking - all with the intention of calling attention to her attractiveness. Men can also straighten their clothing, lick their lips or fix their hair, but they should also include things like hooking their fingers into their pants (if standing), suck in their stomach, or take deep breaths to increase the size of their chest. For both men and women, try to use preening body language that shows off your best features while enhancing what makes you, you.
How To Flirt With A Smile
There are few things better than receiving a genuine, radiant smile from a stranger, yet many people don't respond to them as a flirt tactic. Therefore, use your smile in conjunction with the other body language ideas listed in this article to ensure whomever you've got your eye on realizes a flirt is your intention.
How To Flirt By Pointing
No, not by using your finger silly. Instead, try to 'point' at the person you want to flirt with by moving your body towards them. Take your feet and make sure they are facing your flirt target, and use your shoulders to lean into them - even if you aren't speaking with them. Other ideas include facing your shoulders towards them or 'closing off' a space just for the two of you (such as crossing your legs towards each other).
How To Flirt Using Touch
Look for opportunities where you can touch the person you want to flirt with, either 'accidentally' or otherwise. Shaking hands is an excellent flirt tactic, because not only does it place your hands together (which conveys a "higher level of intimacy" according to Alan and Barbara Pease), but it is easy way to combine flirting with an introduction. You could also try carefully and casually placing your hands on the person's arms to very gently 'move' them so you can pass by on your way to the bathroom, or lightly tap their arm while sharing a laugh. And if you aren't quite comfortable touching the person you want to flirt with quite yet, you can try mimicking their movements for a short period of time (i.e. a couple of seconds), instead.)
7. Keep It Light
You'll get a way better response if you chat about fun, happy stuff (like your new puppy) than serious or sad stuff (like when your puppy got hit by a train). The point of flirting isn't to bare your soul or share your honest opinions about everything. It's to open the door to lots more conversations down the road.
8. Beware of Awkward Silences
Once the convo drags, it's probably gone for good. Fill an awkward silence by asking the other person a question. Can't think of one? Ask them about something they're wearing or something in your environment (like a painting on the wall, or the music that's playing).
9. Wrap It Up
If you're not interested in talking anymore, politely find an excuse to head off into the sunset. If you are interested, give them a way to get in touch with you - like your phone number or Facebook name. This is (hopefully) just your first convo of many, so save some of that charm for the next time.
10. Practice, Practice, Practice
No one's perfect at flirting the first time around. If the idea of flirting still gives you butterflies, don't worry - it just means that you need more practice. The more you flirt, the easier it'll get.
Since people don't always use actual words to express their feelings, sometimes you'll have to resort to looking for unconscious signs that your crush likes you back. If 3 or more of the below signs are true, there's a good chance your crush likes you back. (Of course, you could always just ask them out and see what they say.)
1. He Brags About Himself to You
Courtesy of Getty Images
If he always seems to be telling you stories that demonstrate how awesome he is, he's trying to prove himself to be worthy of you. It's sort of like the human equivalent of peacocks showing off their feathers. Yeah, it's a little pathetic...but if you like him back, then I'm sure you won't mind.
2. She Wants to Talk to You
Courtesy of Getty Images
Even a pretty shy person will try to get close to you (either in person or through words) if she likes you. Bonus points if she calls you up out of the blue, just to talk. On the flip side, if your crush never seems to initiate conversations or return your calls and texts, then it's probably a lost cause.
3. You Catch Him Looking at You
Courtesy of Getty Images
Of course, this doesn't count if you've been staring at him for the past hour, hoping to get his attention, and he catches you in the act. It only counts if you glance over at him and caught him in mid-stare.
4. She Laughs at Your Jokes - Even If They're Not Funny
Courtesy of Getty Images
If she likes you, she'll be charmed by even the dumbest stuff that comes out of your mouth.
5. He Treats You Differently Than Other Girls
Courtesy of Getty Images
If he's sending you "I like you" vibes, they don't mean anything if he flirts the same way with everyone. For instance, if he's a notorious flirt, then he'll act shyer and more genuine around the girl he really likes.
If her friends know she likes you, they won't be able to keep their traps shut when you're around. So watch them closely for signs that they know something you don't.
Is your non-punk crush suddenly downloading your favorite Green Day album? Did your jocko crush audition for the school play you told him you were trying out for? It's probably 'cause he wants to have something to talk to you about, or he wants to prove that you guys are totally made for each other.
Tittle.
Just post your advice.
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Flirting's a language - and just like with any other language, no one's born a fluent flirt. If you want to know how to flirt like a pro, you've got to learn the signs. Follow these flirt tips and practice till you're an expert flirt.
1. Choose Your Targets
You don't have to have a crush on someone in order to flirt. Practice flirting with random people you see every day - people who might not even be on your dating radar - on order to hone your skills. That way, you'll have some flirting experience under your belt when you approach the people who really matter.
2. Have an Opening Line
Find a reason to talk to the person. If you're in a class with them, come up with a question about an assignment. If they're standing in line behind you at a concert, ask about the band. Get creative, and be ready to respond to whatever they say.
3. Make Eye Contact
If you don't make eye contact, you'll look bored or uninterested, and that's not an impression you want to give. Too shy to look them right in the eyes? Here's a trick: look at the spot right between their eyes. It'll look like eye contact to them.
4. Come Up With a Compliment
Pick one thing you like about the way they look - like their hair, their smile or an article of clothing. Let them know in a friendly way how much you like it. It'll make them feel good and will open them up to you. (If you can't think of an opening line for tip #2, a compliment will do.)
5. Smile
You don't have to go all Bozo the Clown, but the idea is to look like you enjoy talking to them. So be sure to throw them a smile whenever it makes sense. If they shoot one back, you'll know that they like talking to you, too.
6. Flirt With Your Body
The body language you use when you flirt is just as important as what you say. Use good posture, point your body towards the person and try to find excuses to touch them. For more on how to do that, check these body language flirting tips.
(
You see someone from across the room and think: Wow. I want to meet them. But how can you be sure that your body language conveys your true intentions - to flirt?
These body language cues are excellent ways to show the object of your interest that you'd like to get to know them better. And if someone uses these cues on you? Flirt right back -- because flirting is harmless, and practice makes perfect.
How To Flirt With Your Eyes
Holding eye contact with someone you find appealing for approximately five seconds is well-used flirt tactic, mostly because it is highly effective, although its ease and simplicity of use doesn't hurt. According to the book, "The Definitive Guide of Body Language," by Alan and Barbara Pease, the person initiating the flirt will - on average - need to lock eyes three times before the flirt recipient catches on.
How To Flirt By Preening
There are many, many ways one groom themselves in public in a flattering yet flirty way, depending on your gender. Ladies can try some hair stroking, posture enhancing, neck exposing, hip tilting (if standing), clothes straightening or lip licking - all with the intention of calling attention to her attractiveness. Men can also straighten their clothing, lick their lips or fix their hair, but they should also include things like hooking their fingers into their pants (if standing), suck in their stomach, or take deep breaths to increase the size of their chest. For both men and women, try to use preening body language that shows off your best features while enhancing what makes you, you.
How To Flirt With A Smile
There are few things better than receiving a genuine, radiant smile from a stranger, yet many people don't respond to them as a flirt tactic. Therefore, use your smile in conjunction with the other body language ideas listed in this article to ensure whomever you've got your eye on realizes a flirt is your intention.
How To Flirt By Pointing
No, not by using your finger silly. Instead, try to 'point' at the person you want to flirt with by moving your body towards them. Take your feet and make sure they are facing your flirt target, and use your shoulders to lean into them - even if you aren't speaking with them. Other ideas include facing your shoulders towards them or 'closing off' a space just for the two of you (such as crossing your legs towards each other).
How To Flirt Using Touch
Look for opportunities where you can touch the person you want to flirt with, either 'accidentally' or otherwise. Shaking hands is an excellent flirt tactic, because not only does it place your hands together (which conveys a "higher level of intimacy" according to Alan and Barbara Pease), but it is easy way to combine flirting with an introduction. You could also try carefully and casually placing your hands on the person's arms to very gently 'move' them so you can pass by on your way to the bathroom, or lightly tap their arm while sharing a laugh. And if you aren't quite comfortable touching the person you want to flirt with quite yet, you can try mimicking their movements for a short period of time (i.e. a couple of seconds), instead.)
7. Keep It Light
You'll get a way better response if you chat about fun, happy stuff (like your new puppy) than serious or sad stuff (like when your puppy got hit by a train). The point of flirting isn't to bare your soul or share your honest opinions about everything. It's to open the door to lots more conversations down the road.
8. Beware of Awkward Silences
Once the convo drags, it's probably gone for good. Fill an awkward silence by asking the other person a question. Can't think of one? Ask them about something they're wearing or something in your environment (like a painting on the wall, or the music that's playing).
9. Wrap It Up
If you're not interested in talking anymore, politely find an excuse to head off into the sunset. If you are interested, give them a way to get in touch with you - like your phone number or Facebook name. This is (hopefully) just your first convo of many, so save some of that charm for the next time.
10. Practice, Practice, Practice
No one's perfect at flirting the first time around. If the idea of flirting still gives you butterflies, don't worry - it just means that you need more practice. The more you flirt, the easier it'll get.
Since people don't always use actual words to express their feelings, sometimes you'll have to resort to looking for unconscious signs that your crush likes you back. If 3 or more of the below signs are true, there's a good chance your crush likes you back. (Of course, you could always just ask them out and see what they say.)
1. He Brags About Himself to You
If he always seems to be telling you stories that demonstrate how awesome he is, he's trying to prove himself to be worthy of you. It's sort of like the human equivalent of peacocks showing off their feathers. Yeah, it's a little pathetic...but if you like him back, then I'm sure you won't mind.
2. She Wants to Talk to You
Even a pretty shy person will try to get close to you (either in person or through words) if she likes you. Bonus points if she calls you up out of the blue, just to talk. On the flip side, if your crush never seems to initiate conversations or return your calls and texts, then it's probably a lost cause.
3. You Catch Him Looking at You
Of course, this doesn't count if you've been staring at him for the past hour, hoping to get his attention, and he catches you in the act. It only counts if you glance over at him and caught him in mid-stare.
4. She Laughs at Your Jokes - Even If They're Not Funny
If she likes you, she'll be charmed by even the dumbest stuff that comes out of your mouth.
5. He Treats You Differently Than Other Girls
If he's sending you "I like you" vibes, they don't mean anything if he flirts the same way with everyone. For instance, if he's a notorious flirt, then he'll act shyer and more genuine around the girl he really likes.
6. Her Friends Tease Her About You
If her friends know she likes you, they won't be able to keep their traps shut when you're around. So watch them closely for signs that they know something you don't.
7. He Gets Into Stuff You Like
Is your non-punk crush suddenly downloading your favorite Green Day album? Did your jocko crush audition for the school play you told him you were trying out for? It's probably 'cause he wants to have something to talk to you about, or he wants to prove that you guys are totally made for each other.
Please post your own advice