http://www.digitaltrends.com/game-reviews/kingdom-hearts-2-5-hd-remix-review/

 

Notable quotes:

 

"A boy named Sora set off an interdimensional odyssey to save his girlfriend Kairi and a plethora of Disney Princesses from a mad wizard-scientist named Ansem and Disney villain Maleficent."

 

"Their goal is to prepare him for a fight with Organization XIII, a cabal of soulless husks that look like militant Goth kids."

 

"Before Sora can wake up and fight them alongside a bad-ass warrior Mickey Mouse, you have to play as half of Sora’s soul, his Nobody, named Roxas."

 

It only gets better from there

"Never as deep or strategic as BioWare's modern action RPGs, but never stupid or tedious: Kingdom Hearts‘ combat is adequate."

 

Ha, got a good laugh outta that one.

Edited December 12, 201410 yr by Kaweebo

I find it hard to take any review that uses the phrase "militant Goth kids" seriously. Very unprofessional.

 

He also really glossed over the metaphysical aspects of the lore with extremely simplistic statements, making it seem even less coherent than it actually is.  Still, at least he gave credit where credit is due.

Edited December 12, 201410 yr by Isamu_Kuno

Is this even an official review? Or is it some kind of joke?

I normally don't like to see people make an ass out of themselves unless they're joking.

Highs:

 

-Tons of game

 

WELL I'M SOLD

 

Also he used the phrase "time-wasting masturbatory mechanics " which makes this the best review of any video game ever.

Edited December 12, 201410 yr by HeyMouseSayCheese

I'm not even sure if this is a legit review, or a joke review

 

7.8/10 Too much water, THAT'S GETTING OLD WOW

Is he for cereal? Well, I guess that's what you get for not investing your time in the story and still trying to review a game...

He said it was great, and that's all I care about. That comment though.... It's so angry.

I don't care for reviews. In the end, what only matters is my opinion. I am the freaking person spending time and money playing the game.

 

On topic. I can't even..

Is he for cereal? 

Oh, he's for cereal alright. Like, Captain Crunch status

Good, lordy, loo....I can't even...just, no. No. Nope. No way. I do not even comprehend....

 

Again with the Kairi being Sora's Girlfriend part....*sigh* I don't even need to say. "Bad-Ass Warrior Mickey"....pretty much.

 

"Half of Sora's Soul" .....*Ahem* it's his Nobody; Literally his Body who deserves his own existence and such but that's not relevant right now.

 

This review is just plain weird...I'm surprised he didn't touch upon the amount of Butt-Shots there are in KH. Then it would have been complete.