I don't really know why I decided to put this here... I guess I just need to tell someone about it. (it's pretty long and complicated)

 

The thing is... there's this person that I can't hate but can't like either and out of everything this came out.

 

 

To start from beginning, I'm pretty much like Sora - always positive and stuff. As for friendship thingy, I had just few friends when I was at primary school. Even though we had fights all the time, I got along with some boys. As for girls... let's just say they pretended they accepted me as I was but in reality kept saying that I'm a weirdo. I didn't mind them, in fact every time they would start making fun of me I simply walked away, ignoring them. During Secondary School I firstly experienced what true friendship really is. I got along with most of a class plus I met some really good guys who didn't mind the thing about me or what my interests were. But that's where the main thing starts.

 

She (I'll name her Annie) transfered into our class during second year and was pretty shy looking. I usually let others introduce themselves to me, but she was way to shy to do so. It reminded me on myself and that's why I decided to help her fit in. Becuase I knew how it is to be an outsider.

 

For the rest of the second year we got along. I helped her study, when she didn't want to do sports with otheres, whenever she cried... I was there and I didn't want her to feel like a burden in the class. She appreciated it, that much that she started sharing her personal life with me. I mean which person tells less-known classmate about her love interessts or gives personal diary to read? After meeting her I even started being friends with some other girls and it turned out great. I thought our friendship was amazing, but then some events happened which turned everything upside down.

 

During end school trip we were going to make a cake for our class teacher's birthday. I was usually one to bake (believe it or not I'm almost expert at making sweets), but during that time I was busy doing artwork for a summer camp where I was working. So Annie said she's going to make it. Classmates and me were like "no problem", but the next day Annie appeared withouth cake, saying the oven wasn't working and was about to burst out crying. Okay, she made a mistake, but why didn't she tell anyone? As far as I remember she used her cellphone a lot plus was very active on facebook that day. Why didn't she tell someone else so we could at least have cookies. No she rather decided to face the consequences and make herself look like helpless baby. Luckily few other classmates quickly got a cheap looking cake out of shop so teacher's birthday wasn't ruined. She on the other hand couldn't stop crying even after seeing everything was alright and other classmates talked to her. Even a week later she was still talking about how horrible everyone was just becuase she didn't do what she promised. But NO ONE said a thing that she's bad or anything. They were just a bit angry at the beginning becuase she didn't informed anyone and were all happy after they managed to get everything alright.

 

After that was summer vacation and I didn't hear anything about her. As the third year came there were some changes. Annie wasn't as shy as she was the previous year, in fact she became right the opposite. She started going out, hanging out with others in class and was almost always in the centre of attention. Problem had a start when she wasn't satisfied with all attention she was already recieving. She wanted more and was capable of doing everything for it. For one example she started cursing over everything and talked about perverted stuff at most uncomfortable situations. For short time it was fun and all, but then she wouldn't stuff and became seriously annoying with it. Other classmates started rejecting her becuase of it, but I didn't. For some reason I still thought she just had trouble of fitting in and listened every time she talked how others are ignoring her.

 

As for me I changed during summer too. I started watching more anime and also playing games on handheld consoles. For the first month of school I was taking my PSP in school and played it during breaks. One break Annie came to watch me play it and seemed all excited about it. After she asked, I explained the whole gameplay and why I liked it. The whole time I was talking she was nodding and smiling, but after I finished she burst out laughing and called me childish since I was playing "kiddie games (aka KH Birth by Sleep)". It seriously pissed me off, but I kept my cool and ignored her. Next time I seen her how she was talking about me and other girls somewhere. They were all making fun of me and even hid my PSP once. I stopped bringing it into school becuase of it and I couldn't trade games with other guys becuase I didn't want them to make fun out of me anymore.

Eventually they left it alone, but then Annie found out my anime sketches. For some months she liked how I was drawing, but after finding out that I also watch them same thing happened 'cept it was even worse.

 

I started hanging out with others, just to keep myself busy. Seeing her with some other girls I didn't get the urge to hang out with others just to help her fit in. So year was pretty much the same as the first one. We would still talked to each other, even though it was much more different than in second year. She started saying something which I literally hate at all girls: THAT SHE IS FAT.

OH COME ON! Her body was as slim as most of the models were. Whenever I said she wasn't fat, she grabbed that little skin she had on belly and complained about her "fat" and that she's going to have a diet. On the same day I was getting ice cream and asked her if she wanted it too. Her answer: NO! I WANT A PIECE OF THAT CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH LOTS OF CREAM!!!

How the hell can you complain about fat and have extra fattening food on the same day?

 

I left it be and hopeed she'll eventually let it go. Our class trip to Spain arrived and she ended up in the same group as I was. First two days were alright, we all had fun. Third one was a problem. While I was taking photos, Annie suddenly started crying if not screaming. People were staring while some other girls took her away. We got on the bench and she wanted me to talk all the problems out. She was homesick, wanted doing something, hated the trip... Alright hold your horses. We all have problems, we all are sometimes homesick, but we have to be patient in order for things to be alright. You don't have to scream in the middle of the crowd. We needed whole damm of an HOUR to calm her down. Hour that we could easily spend to check the stadium, but we couldn't becuase of her itty bitty problems. 

One time she had urge of getting attention again by drinking whole bottle of something seriously alcoholic. I wouldn't mind if it was outside or in bar, everywhere BUT IN THE BUS! Just minutes later she threw everything up and the smell was horrible. Even worse was that we couldn't clean her mess for TWO DAMM HOURS since we were on highway in the middle of night! 

 

Peak of the events was during project working. We were going to do a reserch about one thing at Biotechnology and I seriously don't know how I ended up being her lab partner. I was: okay, we can do this and she was: great! I'm with a nerd and won't need to do anything for the project. Too bad I didn't know what she was thinking. When we started working I spend first hour of listening to her complaints of how ridicules project I picked (Mutations and Viruses, boring?). I calmed her down with some instructions of what she can help me with. She found only few photos and lousy website which didn't help one bit. She complained of how she couldn't find anything and of how boring everything was. Yeah, school is boring but people who complain are more. To proove her "hardness" I typed just few words (Viruses) in google and found more in ten minutes than she had in two hours! 

I gave her the most simple part in report to write (just two pages) while I wrote the rest (around nine pages) hoping I won't be listening to her complains. But she complained every twenty minutes! I could literally set an alarm on her complaining. And guess how hardworking she was... after three hours I wrote almost seven pages.. when she didn't write a half of it! It pissed me off so much and just wanted to shout on her but I wasn't in mood to do so. I got her to finish her part by promising that we're going to make cupcakes (did I mention she's completely addicted to sweets?) and that's how her mood changed into little sugar-coated-little-girl one.

In the end we did our report well and got the highest scores in the class. Problem? Yeah, she went showing off in the class of how she did everything when in fact I did almost everything (about 80%). Then she even talked to her "girly party" of how I didn't let her do more.

I was going to tell her off and everything if school year didn't finish so fast.

 

And now it's the critical fourth year when she literally changed from bad to worse. Starting with another project working which would bring lots of points on final exams I decided to work alone since I didn't want the same thing to happen again. Annie of course went prying around me, hoping to do the same thing. I said clear no and explained her that project working meant a lot to me. She enraged, hitting the desk that almost all my stuff fell off it and called me jerk in front of everyone, hoping to make me the bad one and her an innocent one. 

 

Luckily all classmate were pretty much annoyed by her already and didn't badmouth me. It happened one more time when I came into library to study, getting to desk away from Annie. She nicely said to sit next to her and I did even though I prefer sitting alone in order to study more. I quietly set my things when she nearly screamed why is everyone avoiding her and called me jerk one more time. I simply took my stuff and got out of library saying "I won't sit next to you if you'll be so impudent to me." I think I pissed her off that day but I didn't really care since I had a lot of studying on my mind.

 

Days later she joined forces with girl I simply call (in-secret) Sugar Coated Bitch since the first year since she's the only seriously spoiled girl in our class. I got to ignore her since then but now as they're together she seems to hate me more. I let them be together and stopped worrying about Annie. She hurt me enough and I didn't want to be hurt more.

But there's this problem - I'm friends with I really good guy who knows her well and says that she's alright person with certain mistakes that you need to understand. I also found out that before she transfered into our class was bullied a lot on the other school. I felt pity for her and tried not to be too angered by her actions, becuase I was bullied too and I know how it is.

 

But weeks later I couldn't make an eye contect with her longer than a second. I figured out I'm partly avtistic when I was little (forming stuff, puzzles, fear of people, crowds, space, avoiding eye contect with people I don't trust) and I simply couldn't be around her anymore, it was like danger, something unnatural to pry on me all the time. Annie took that as grudge and was angry when ever I appeared.

 

She got on worse by starting smoking. Lots of classmates smoke, but they do on right places and right times becuase they feel like smoking. Annie does it just for attention and clearly doesn't know how to smoke. One time she stood in front of the only security camera on whole school about everyone knows and smoked there as the biggest idiot. Becuase of that she had a visit to principal and got entire class into trouble, right now when we need principal's support for our prom. Just so she could be more popular.

 

It also pissed me off when she decided to do Social Fobia for a project. During presentation she talked about it by her point of view, saying how no one is even trying to accept her and how "hard" was being in this class. WHY YOU LITTLE! Do you even know what the heck social fobia is? It's literally being afraid of attention, but you want it so what the hell is wrong with you? I know people who truly suffer from Social fobia and you're nothing like them!

 

For some time I was just avoiding her, not talking to her by any chance. Then lots of classmates started having birthdays and bringing sweets into school. Whenever there were sweets she was the first to take it, but she would never bring it.One time I really did a lot of work on cookies for a good friend of mine. I gave what was left to other classmates, even Annie. It broke my nerves when she wanted another one. I told her those are for the ones who didn't get it yet, but got angry and wanted another one. She even started dragging my school back when I was giving cookies to others. I usually don't shout on people but that time I did, becuase she seriusly pissed me off. I worked with five year old children who understood word no!

 

Same thing happened this Monday when I had my 18th birthday and brought chocolate cupcakes to school. I gave classmates one each and when I got to Annie girl next to her took two, one for a friend I knew. Annie greedily took two as well and I asked her for who is the cupcake. She said for no one and I said to put it back since not all classmates got a cupcake yet. She put it back, seemingly pissed off. After some were left I said they can take one more. Guess who was the first. Yup Annie and she ran towards cupcakes so violently that she nearly knocked out one other boy who went to get a cupcake. Most of the class congratuated me for finally someone telling her off and told me of how they don't like her.

Next day I got a nice present from my classmates, birthday bag full of sweets and gift card of video game shop. They warned me to hide the bag from her becuase of the sweets. I put it in my lock, hoping my gift would be safe there. While going home one of the boys told me that she has seen the bag before they gave it to me and was like "oh can I take one? no one will notice" Oh sure, steal the birthday gift, just so you can enjoy while the one who should get it can't becuase certain somone was too glutton.

 

Just yesterday she came to me, angered becuase Sugar-Coated-Bitch told her others call her glutton and that I hid my own birthday bag from her. I clearly told her that I don't want to argue (especially becuase it was in the middle of the lesson) for such a lousy thing. Then she started asking why I'm avoiding her since the school has started and I simply replied that I don't feel like hanging with her anymore. Annie got pissed off, called me childish and bad person. Firstly I sarcastically told her that I'm wondering why I'm avoding her and then I tried to tell her that she's okay as a person, but her mistakes are bothering me. She angrily said that I should accept the person with mistakes. I was going to tell her that I'm trying to do so for two years and can't do anymore, but she went away before I could say that. 

 

I only talked with one person about it by now and he offered to have a word with her that she will cry for weeks. I told him no, becuase I don't support bullying and I didn't want her to break again.

 

 

 

 

So that's the story... about her and me. It breaks my nerves whenever I see her and sometimes I would just like to hit her. But I can't....

Every time I want to have a word with her I remember our friendship and the guy who knows her. When I had my birthday she congratuated me and happily said that she hopes we can be friends again and that I won't be so impudent to her anymore (I suspect she only did that for getting a cupcake).

 

If I do anything harsh she will break down again and I'm not that kind of a person. But if I go in an easy way she won't take it seriously.

 

 

What should I do? I can't avoid her and every time I go to school she's there and I can't make her go away. She's breaking me again...

 

 

Just give me a good piece of advice if you ever good an experience like that... to be betrayed by person that used to be a very good friend of yours.

 

And thanks if you took time to read everything.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had a really long reply to this but I hit the back button by accident, so I'm just gonna shorten it.

 

No, it's not wrong to abandon this person. If you feel they're not worth your time, they're just negative energy, or you haven't been connecting lately, by all means consider ending the friendship (if it even still is that). Don't try to hold onto it if it's not going anywhere. From the look of things she's just an attention seeker, and is very needy. Doesn't sound like she supports you that much either.

 

There are unspoken rules of friendship. Try and think of a few (this is subjective to different people). Now, does this Annie follow any of them?

 

It's always hard losing a friend, but understanding that they come and go is very important. It's not easy to disassociate from someone close to you though. When my best friend of 5 years started to drift apart from me, I tried not to think about it. And by remaining emotionless I was able to get over it pretty quickly. Every now and then I miss hanging out, but I've moved on nonetheless.

 

Sorry that I couldn't type more, I'm tired of typing haha. I wish you luck and hopefully this all turns out good.

 

 

Also, the easiest way to end a friendship is to just stop talking. Of course if they say something to you you hold respond, but I mean don't go out of your way to make conversation. Stop texting/calling/talking in class/etc. Dont hang out anymore and try to limit how much you see each other. If she says something like "Why are you avoiding me??" Just be honest. Say you feel your friendship is slipping and she's not how she used to be.

 

Ok now I'm done

Edited December 5, 201311 yr by Lalalablah

i need to give you a reply but i accidentlally went back and deleted all of my progress, i'll give you tips later,

 

don't think you're a bad person. you need to confront annie. but i'll tell you more stuff later. io got to go

i need to give you a reply but i accidentlally went back and deleted all of my progress, i'll give you tips later,

 

don't think you're a bad person. you need to confront annie. but i'll tell you more stuff later. io got to go

I agree you should confront her.

it sounds to me like she's using you. you wouldn't be a bad person for telling her to leave you alone, especially if she acts like you said. you should probably ask your school counseler, because he/she knows more than i do.

if it's any consolation, if she keeps eating like this, she's gonna become fat and you can laugh at her

I think you should just let this girl go. She's taking more than she's giving. AND SHE DISRESPECTED BBS! lol jk. But like Lala said, there's certain rules of friendship, and it sounds like she's not following them. If you really feel there are thing to be settled with her, take a seat with her, and talk about her behavior. If she gets mad and leaves, she isnt worth your time, because I think people should at least be CONSIDERATE that it might be their fault, not just push blame on others. I mean I usually try to talk things out with people I might have a problem, but if they're intent on blaming only me they're not worth my time. Or I skip the conversation if I knew it wont work, certain people are stubborn. But if you want just put space between you two. Make it clear you're not friends anymore. It sounds like she's really lonely, but I think it would be fair to say you shouldn't have to take so much from her. Does she need help? Yes, but not from you. She can find someone else to help her. She's not behaving herself, so there's no need to reward her of any kind, or even tolerate her. I believe in forgiveness, but people have to be sorry, and make up for their mistakes. and please tell her for me that maybe if she wasn't hating on a fabulous game about Disney and friendship, maybe she might actually understand friendship, morality, and learning FROM your mistakes instead of expecting them to be forgiven! (That was a bit harsh, but cmon! Who hates KH?!)

Do you know what her home situation is? Is there any signs of something there? If there isn't, I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. People like that just aren't worth it. She'll end up bad places. However, don't feel bad. You did your best. Be happy about that. Nothing was your fault, she's the one at fault here. If it ever gets out of hand, cut it off. Don't speak to her. You'll see how powerful that can be. Tough it out until school's done.

It's not wrong to leave someone who's no longer a good friend, but don't be mean about it. Trust me when I say that even if you want to terminate the friendship, her feelings are still important, so don't be rude about it. 

heyyy i'm back.

 

what i said before, i'm going to continue on what i was saying

 

DO NOT THINK YOU'RE A BAD PERSON FOR WANTING TO NOT BE FRIENDS WITH ANNIE ANYMORE. When i read your  post, you seemed very considerate and kind, and the fact that you dealt with annie for more than a couple of years is amazing in itself.

 

so about annie, basically im assuming that she's selfish, inconsiderate, and an attention seeker. She doesn't care about what other people's situations are and doesnt care if she gets in people's way. Somehow this whole transformation occured between primary and secondary school. Im guessing that she was always an attention seeker, but until high school, she didn't know how to get attention. That would explain why she was so shy.

 

She is VERY immature! Somehow she needs to fix this, but the issue is that she doesn't realize that there are things that are wrong with her. Realization is the first step to changing and she has obviously not reached that status yet. No one can changer her anyways but herself. But you can do something about that. If you are truly her friend anyways, you should confront her to get her to understand and realize what situation she is in and that everyone hates/ is annoyed by her. The best thing is confrontation. Although there is one question i want to ask you: 

do you still want to be friends with annie? I mean, are you still hoping that annie can change?

 

if you are thinking about both of these, then i suggest you confront her. Don't just let the friendship slip by your hands if you think it's still revivable. Almost nothing is a valuable as a deep friendship. It appears that you and annie had this before, but over time she turned for the worse. Not to mention if you just end the relation ship, Annie will continue to stay at whatever status she's at, always seeking attention and being spoiled. It doesn't matter if you're not friends anymore, she'll still anger you and annoy you. She'll be confused if you end the friendship as well, because she thinks that everyone is avoiding her for no reason at all. You ending the friendship will make her believe that false thought even stronger. Annie might even fall into a state of depression and be an even worse attention seeker.

 

Like is said, if you confront her, it'll be for the good of everyone. But telling from your story, she seems that she can be VERY defensive. But other parts of your story tell me that she has the potential to be open to opinion and thought...only if she pays attention to it. like for example, when you told her that her personality is a little mixed and messed up, she asked why and was open to opinion. 

 

If you want to talk to her about this, then I suggest that you not be alone. Be with another friend of hers so that she doesn't think that it's just you who thinks she's a bitch. If there is more than one opinion, she can't just say the whole world is wrong about her. Don't just go alone so you can receive every blow and false statement she gives you. Ask about why she changed when secondary school started. Maybe she'll say that she hasnt changed at all. Give evidence as to how she has changed and show that you want the old friendship that you two used to have. She may be just keeping the friendship up because she wants to leech off of the benefits you give her, and if that's so, then that's when the breaking point will be. If you want to keep up the relationship and she doesnt, then it's not going to work. I can't give you advice as of what you need to do after that, because that's something i don't really want to think about, nor do i know about that. 

 

But do your best to get her to acknowledge how messed up her behavior and personality has been lately. If you succeed, then she'll likely want to become a better person. And that will lead to change. Change for the better.

 

Maybe the cause of all of this transforming from the shy and embarrassed but amiable girl to the bitchy, attention seeking, spoiled teenager was something that you don't know about happened to her before the transition. If that is the cause, offer help and remind her that she doesn't have to go through the burden by herself. She shouldn't suffer and degrade herself in society, and it's best that when you confront her that you should try to find the source as to why she has changed. Everything has a reason for happening, and if you ever find the reason, try to be the most understand friend as possible. don't just be a person who just gives worldly goods away, but try to be an emotionally supportive friend as well.

 

But all of the information i told you should be acted upon ONLY if you WANT to continue the relationship. If you think that the whole friendship has decayed into a pile of shit and garbage, there is nothing i can do for you. The only hope for Annie is that either she'll eventually change by herself as a result of confusion and suffering, or someone helps her before too much has happened.

 

if you decide to confront her, then could you tell me about it? I want to see how everything works out. Best of luck for you.

Edited December 6, 201311 yr by khdayskh1314

I've been horribly wronged by friends before and have sadly been forced to abandon them. Even the oldest and closest of friendships can vanish, I still get sad about it from time to time. 

 

However I can safely say that I've been better as a result. 

 

If the friendship isn't working, then you shouldn't feel bad about getting rid of it. 

this "friend" of yours does not seem like a good friend at all. You need to stop being friends with her. she is rude, greedy, bad, and according to what you said. How DARE SHE MAKE FUN OF YOU & YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECTS jezz if i was her friend ill give her a smack in the head. She's just a drama queen ignore her . Is better than to be friends with her because really she isnt worth your time, find some good friends who will help you with an assignment and doesn't claim that she did all the work and show off .You deserve the best of friends. You may not get along with girls well but at least you do with boys. It's hard to make a guy friend for me you're just really lucky. my friends make fun of me and make drama out of everything and i have to get dragged in their problems sometimes even get yelled at ):. Anyways like I said ignore her she's bad news just try to make friends that don't get into trouble. Good luck!

I know it's hard, believe me, I've been in these kind of situations a thousand times.

No, it doesn't make you a bad person

But you have to do something

 

I was once being bullied by a classmate who was very attention seeking, I didn't give in, I told here she was being immature, and now she has become a much better person, and has left me alone. She even apologised to me. Another classmate (Who was also very attention seeking)I told to her "The world doesn't revolve around you" and another "Go bully someone else/you are a bully". Every time, they stopped. Because I told them exactly what they were doing, and they knew In their mind that it was true.

 

So one option is, I've learned, making her acknowledge her behaviour then cease speaking to her/ignoring her

This is a powerful thing, because she may realise how immature she is being/what she is doing, like my classmates, and change for the better.

 

The other option is similar, you simply don't talk to her and walk away from the situation. I know it's sounds hard and mean, but trust me, it is the only way.

My best friend was a kind girl, but over the years she got worse and worse until she was just using me for her own benefit. She was also screwing around, doing drugs and smoking around me (I have asthma) and just being a huge bitch. So, I ceased talking to her, she got desperate but I soon realised she just wanted to use me again.

Anyway, I digress, if you feel you have to let her go because she's a poisonous friend, then you should, because trust me, if she feels she can get away with it and still have you around, then it will only get worse.

First of all... I really wanna thank you all guys that you took your spare time in order to help me. When I firstly posted this, I would never imagine that some many people would respond. Seriously guys, thank you a lot!

 

Reason why I didn't respond to you is that some of you wanted to know what am I going to do with a lead of your advices and how is it going to work out. Well it took longer than I expected, but I couldn't be more happy with final conclusion in this never ending story of friendship. 

 

 

The thing was... Annie was scared and looked for a comfort at wrong places. When she didn't find it, her emotions and anger acted as defense.

 

 

 

 

 

To start again from begining, soon after posting this story about my breaking friendship with her, I started avoiding her by hanging out with other classmates and studying for finals. She on the other hand remained pretty much the same, hanging it out with only two girls that entire class disliked. And for a good reason.

 

The first one (I'll call her Lisa) was seriously spoiled little girl that kept complaining and making up the excuses for pretty much everything. For example, English teacher said loud and clear that she will have asking exams with those who haven't yet. Lisa was one of them. When teacher said her name, she came to the teacher and god, I thought Lisa will bite teacher's head off. She had number of excuses such as "No one told me, there will be asking exams" , "I currently don't feel well due to my injury, I don't think I can handle." INJURY that she was talking about, was sprained ankle that she had twisted weeks ago. Luckily teacher knew her too well to be tricked. He gave her 1 (1 is the worst and 5 is the best) and told her she can fix it whenever she feels ready.

Lisa on the other hand was not statisfied and left the room in the middle of the lesson, slaming the door. What surprised me was that Annie followed her lead and left the class as well. 

 

During the break, I heard her talking to Annie of how rude teacher was to her and how no one understands her problems. Since there were already many simmilar situations like it (making herself poor in order to get better grades) I simply went to her. I knew Lisa didn't like me, but that time she was surprisingly nice, saying how at least someone undestands her. That time I was still recovering from a surgery (two torn knee ligaments) and had to wear special brace just so I could walk. I told her that twisted ankle  (which heals in two weeks) is nothing compared to torn muscles that need more than a year to recover. If I remember correctly I said something like this:

 

"Time when I was supposed to rest at home, I came in school to finish with exams and you right here are whining becuase of your twisted ankle? Just so you can get away with important asking exam?"

"What do you know? You don't know the thing about my injury!"

"Look I twisted my ankle twice, broke three of my toes, got a nasty cut on my forhead, had five surgeries on my feet, had a surgery where my skin was removed and I currently have two still healing muscles that got torn. I damm know what pain is. And I know that by using it as an excuse doesn't help, it only gets worse."

 

 

Whole time me and Lisa were talking, Annie was quiet, but was listening to everything I said. After that day neither of them dared to talk to me. Annie, Lisa and another girl (I'll call her Hayley) were pretty much together. Others disliked Heyley becuase she kept complaining about teaching methods in which also her parents were involved. One time her parents almost suspended our Math teacher, just becuase all three had bad grades there. Instead of gettting themselves into studies they rather looked for the guilt in someone else. 

 

I think that was the time when Annie started seriusly thinking in just kind of situation she was. I remember Annie asking some other friend of mine if she could help her study which she agreed. 

 

During that time everyone was nervous, especially becuase finals were coming. I avoided the trio simply becuase I really needed to study to get enough points for college. Then one other classmate came into story (I'll call him Matt). Me and Matt has been having this weird rivalship since the first year. He always thought he's the smartest in whole class (which he actually was but not always) and kept trying to beat my scores. Whenever we talked, we were 100% honest with each other, mostly saying the worst things or at least things we disliked about each other.

But in fourth year, we both had the same goal - to graduate with flying colors. This time we worked together to achieve that goal. We worked so hard that we didn't have time to argue or think about negative stuff. Then we even started meeting in the city's library and going out. There besides studying we also talked, again 100% honest, but also talking about positive stuff. I even told him about Annie and how I feel about him. I think it was something like this.

 

"Those three have serious problems with each other, don't mind them."

"Each other?"

"Yeah, I mean whenever they are together they badmouth whoever they think of. But when two are away, third one badmouths them."

 

This got me thinking. Was Annie really aware in what kind of twisted "friendship" she got? And how she was reacting was becuase of how Lisa and Heyley were acting towards her? I knew they were hanging out soon after the second year, but I never expected it was becuase of them. 

 

Luckily Annie partly understood what was going on and took an important change in her life. She found a way to bring her grades up by studying with instructors and taking extra classes. Lisa kept going with excuses and Heyley with her parent's complains. 

 

One time I noticed Annie struggling with math homework and decided to help her. She was really glad I helped her out and out of sudden we started talking about upcoming prom night. When the talk about dresses came, Annie got a little nervous about her dress.

 

"My dress will make me so fat."

"Is it you who thinks you're fat or someone else?"

"Lisa thinks I should her rid of the fat on my stomach and Heyley thinks..."

"And you believe them? What makes them right to judge you? If you by your own thinking consider yourself as fat, then I'll judge you. I think you have a really nice shape and dress will help you show it. Perhaps the belt looks wide, but that will in fact create an illusion of hourglass shape, the nicest possible one."

 

Whole thing about "hourglass shape" (which I found out when checking a magazine) finally opened her eyes. I think after that she still hanged out with Lisa and Heyley, but was more confident about herself.  

 

That showed during last weeks of the final high school years. Bad grade at math was going to forbid her from doing finals. But you know what she did? She signed a paper to do a whole year math test! And she passed with flying colors! Before that she avoided simmilar situations like Lisa and Heyley, by making excuses and complaining. 

 

 

When finals came she was calm, unlike before when she was nervous about every single thing. After they were over she was worried she wouldn't pass. During the time we waited for results, we started seeing again. We talked and she didn't showed any sign that she still had something against me. Annie just wanted to know why I was avoiding her. I told her that I was stressed about pretty much everything, including her and so was she. I needed a break which she understood and apologized for being a like that to me. She also told me that she completly stopped seeing Lisa becuase she was getting on her nerves. It turned out, Lisa signed for a difficult college for which she needed much more points than she expected. Becuase of that she kept bugging people to borrow her notes, study with her or just hear her complaints about everything. I'm not sure about Heyley, but from what I heard she had problems with herself as well.

 

 

Results came - me and Matt got enough points to get to the colleges we worked so hard and graduated with no problem.

 

Annie graduated too. Unfortuantely she didn't get enough points for first college, but was accepted on the second.

 

Neither Lisa or Heyley graduated. Out of five classes Heyley failed three. Lisa failed four. 

 

 

On graduation day, me and Annie shook hands, saying congratulations. I was so proud on her, that she beat her problems without my help. Annie said she will miss me and will miss her too. Despite the pain there was also happiness which will I never forget.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This experience helped me a lot, reminding me that you should get to know the people before you start judging them. There are people who hang out with others, so they can throw their problems at them. I thought Annie was like that, but it was Lisa and Heyley who made her like that. They created their own rules and Annie thought she should stick with them. That was a mistake that she realized by herself and for that I'm proud.

 

 

If you're insure about your friend, get to know them more and more. Then start thinking if she/he is worth your friendship. 

 

 

Me and Annie will stay in contact even during college years. Our friendship was real, even though there were some holes in it. Now we got rid of those holes.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes it's okay to let the things be and try to solve them by watching from the distance, then take a part of it.

 

 

Again thank you for all of your advices!!! I kept me from doing something wrong. Just look at the result, we made up! Thanks to all of you.

 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

 

Remember "My friends are my power and I'm theirs!!!"

It's funny because this thread officially proves that every school has THAT person, and unfortunately in your case it's Annie. Now let's get things straight, first of all, this isn't abandoning. From what you said, she isn't really a friend, just a class-mate with a really big attention disorder. Second, you shouldn't use the term abandoning like that, it sounds as though you're punishing yourself more than you should. Thirdly, don't feel bad for loosing all communication from this girl, she's a lost cause. Even if you tried to help her, she wouldn't change. Attention is her top priority, and she will do everything she'll take to fulfill that.

 

Hmmm lost cause isn't the best way to put it, but she's beyond your help, and it's not your fault or anyone else's. If this was something to do with her personal life, she would've been different. Something is going on in her mind that's making her strive for attention. Trauma perhaps? Anyways even if you wanted to help, the only thing you could do is recommend her to a professional. Her psychological well being might've been damaged to a certain degree.

 

 

 

 

IM LATE?! ;-:

Edited August 25, 201411 yr by Noel Vermilion

It's funny because this thread officially proves that every school has THAT person, and unfortunately in your case it's Annie. Now let's get things straight, first of all, this isn't abandoning. From what you said, she isn't really a friend, just a class-mate with a really big attention disorder. Second, you shouldn't use the term abandoning like that, it sounds as though you're punishing yourself more than you should. Thirdly, don't feel bad for loosing all communication from this girl, she's a lost cause. Even if you tried to help her, she wouldn't change. Attention is her top priority, and she will do everything she'll take to fulfill that.Hmmm lost cause isn't the best way to put it, but she's beyond your help, and it's not your fault or anyone else's. If this was something to do with her personal life, she would've been different. Something is going on in her mind that's making her strive for attention. Trauma perhaps? Anyways even if you wanted to help, the only thing you could do is recommend her to a professional. Her psychological well being might've been damaged to a certain degree.IM LATE?! ;-:

T'was resolved, my friend.

T'was resolved, my friend.

I really need to check the dates on these threads.