Hi I'm single and almost 23 and I still have not succeeded in getting a girlfriend

 

...

 

any one who can give me advice on this would be much appreciated

Do you have a crush for a gal now?

I did have a crush on one girl who I have known for the past 20 years

You gotta make a girl your friend first. Then if you like her, just throw it out there. Let her know. See what happens. You gotta be bold. 

What Xaon said.  

You need to be friends first.  Don't just go out looking for a girlfriend.  It could work, but your chances for long term success are better if you are good friends first.  Being too forward will usually make them back straight off and think you're a creep, whether they say it or not.  Find people who like the same stuff as you for a start, and then go on from there.

Don't be overly critical. Nobody likes being sized up.

I'm one of the last people who should be giving dating advice, but I think one way to get a girlfriend is to not actively search for one.

 

Relationships should develop organically, i.e. because you legitimately enjoy each other's company.  Your end goal being "girlfriend" seems to imply you want one for the sake of having one.  There's no hard and fast rule for how to get into a relationship.  The only rule I can think of is to stop asking "How do I get a girlfriend?" and start asking "How do I become a person someone would want to date?"  And no, it doesn't involve putting Niceness coins into a girl in the hopes sex/a relationship will fall out.

Try to go out and do new things. Although, pro tip: I can say from personal experience it is REALLY uncomfortable when a guy likes you and you don't like him. Girls make it fairly clear when they like/don't like you, so pay attention to the girl you like before you ask her out. If it doesn't seem like she's interested in you that way, don't "make your feelings clear". You'll make things awkward. So until you're sure you've found a girl who likes you, just relax and be yourself. People now are more interested in their careers and stuff, so women are marrying and having children later in life. I read a while ago that the average childbearing age is 30 now. So just relax and enjoy yourself for now - you have a very long time before you need to worry about finding a girl. It's when you're not worried about having a datefriend that you find one. 

 

edit: listen to everything dracozombie said

Edited June 18, 201411 yr by Think Pink

Try to go out and do new things. Although, pro tip: I can say from personal experience it is REALLY uncomfortable when a guy likes you and you don't like him. Girls make it fairly clear when they like/don't like you, so pay attention to the girl you like before you ask her out. If it doesn't seem like she's interested in you that way, don't "make your feelings clear". You'll make things awkward. So until you're sure you've found a girl who likes you, just relax and be yourself. People now are more interested in their careers and stuff, so women are marrying and having children later in life. I read a while ago that the average childbearing age is 30 now. So just relax and enjoy yourself for now - you have a very long time before you need to worry about finding a girl. It's when you're not worried about having a datefriend that you find one. 

 

edit: listen to everything dracozombie said

clear for other girls maybe, but some of us guys need more obvious signs

clear for other girls maybe, but some of us guys need more obvious signs

Good point! So here are some common things I do (other girls might be different so you'll have to pay attention and maybe ask for a second opinion): some people are really huggy and if the girl you like is a hugger and is a lil hesitant about hugging you (or you're a hugger and she's ducking out of it) that's a pretty clear sign. Also, if you suggest something to do and she immediately makes sure other people are involved ("oh cool I'll invite x, y, and z" or "who's coming with us?") that's probably a no. Do you guys text/snapchat a lot? If not it's probably a no, because I definitely communicate with people I like when given the chance. Does she seek you out to talk to? Not always a clear thing, but if I never/rarely go out of my way to talk to you/bring you into a conversation, I'm probably not that interested. There's probably lots more stuff but that's off the top of my head. 

What Xaon said. You need to be friends first. Don't just go out looking for a girlfriend. It could work, but your chances for long term success are better if you are good friends first. Being too forward will usually make them back straight off and think you're a creep, whether they say it or not. Find people who like the same stuff as you for a start, and then go on from there.

I agree with Zola

Good point! So here are some common things I do (other girls might be different so you'll have to pay attention and maybe ask for a second opinion): some people are really huggy and if the girl you like is a hugger and is a lil hesitant about hugging you (or you're a hugger and she's ducking out of it) that's a pretty clear sign. Also, if you suggest something to do and she immediately makes sure other people are involved ("oh cool I'll invite x, y, and z" or "who's coming with us?") that's probably a no. Do you guys text/snapchat a lot? If not it's probably a no, because I definitely communicate with people I like when given the chance. Does she seek you out to talk to? Not always a clear thing, but if I never/rarely go out of my way to talk to you/bring you into a conversation, I'm probably not that interested. There's probably lots more stuff but that's off the top of my head. 

Interesting. Thanks, i'll keep my eyes open for these signs 

Edited June 18, 201411 yr by Col.Random

First, you need to be comfortable with yourself and second, don't search for one. It will happen; you just gotta keep a positive outlook and be confident in yourself. That will make you happier and will make you motivated to get out and meet different people. If you force looking for someone...it will not be a surprise and the love may seem forced later on. Just find things that you love and get out and do things that you think others will have in common with you! I'm sure someone will come along~ Just focus on you right now and do things that will make YOU happy...maybe somewhere in midst of all that; someone will find you.

Make sure your confident and hold yourself with respect, try to be more outgoing, never look or act like your desperate for a girl(because rumor is they can smell desperation), lastly just wait on it and don't stress be suave and chilled when around girls but still be yourself. Show you can be fine all by yourself!!!!!

To expand on what the others are saying: actively searching for a girlfriend, and not paying attention to hints, will give off a forced vibe that girls (or people in general, really) can pick up on as phony.  I mean, if you really want a girlfriend and seem desperate enough to ask for advice, there's a chance you'll force yourself to behave in a way that makes you come across as artificial.  Being "too nice" is one example--and I'm not talking about legitimate niceness, I'm talking about being so nice you're actually overbearing, almost forcing/guilting her into accept your generosity.  So yes, be yourself, because if you don't act natural, they'll pick up on it.

 

It might help to focus on yourself for a while, which will help you stay natural.  Even if you don't have all of your shit together (how many people in their teens and twenties do?), actively working on correcting them shows a proactivity and confidence that'll boost your chances.  At the very least, you should be able to enjoy your own company, because if you're desperate, it'll be pretty obvious.

 

Also keep in mind that every girl is different, just like every person is different, which is why I mentioned there's no hard and fast rule to get into a relationship.  Girls will give off their own signs of (dis)interest that you might not be able to pick up on until you actually know them, though Think Pink mentioned some common ones.

My advice would be : Don't go for it . A relationship like this just adds more and more responsibilities and it is a waste of time .

My advice would be : Don't go for it . A relationship like this just adds more and more responsibilities and it is a waste of time .

 

Couldn't have said it better myself, my friend. You just took the words right out of my mind.

 

So basically what everyone here is saying is:

 

1) It must be a spontaneous reaction (Lol Too much chemistry ) and

2) Don't be an idiot. Use common sense.

 

Peace!

Couldn't have said it better myself, my friend. You just took the words right out of my mind.

 

So basically what everyone here is saying is:

 

1) It must be a spontaneous reaction (Lol Too much chemistry ) and

2) Don't be an idiot. Use common sense.

 

Peace!

Great minds think alike .

Great minds think alike .

 

Ha! Too true.

 

But seriously why worry about this? EVERYONE has a significant other, whether they know them or not. They pop up in your life sooner or later, or they've always been there. This is what I believe anyway. Yeah, go ahead and call me a hopeless romantic, but it's fact.

 

Peace!