So yeah,in this topic,you can post your Painful Past that you have been through in your lives.However,it's okay if you don't want to if your past are too painful.The motives on this topic is that to know each others and mend the bonds together with all the members....and for the beginning, i will start mine :

 

 

 

When i was in Middle School,i was afraid at first,since it will be a tough journey on my life from now on by starting my life on middle school.But somehow,my feelings of fear was disappear by developing bonds with my friends at school.I spend my time with them and i love and cared for them.Until one day,it hit me.The day we have to switch class on the next year,All my friends begins like 'not-knowing' about me.I tried to get along with them as hard as i can,but now.......they all think that i shouldn't be with them and i tried and tried again to befriend them.....until one of my best friend said "I don't need a friend of low class like you".Indeed,we were in different class because i'm in the low class due to my scores at school and many people don't want to hang out with me.

 

I tried my best to keep up with my scores so that i can catch up with my friends but i still can't.My parents always mad at me since i get lower scores and i'm doing my best to make my parents want.But in the end,i'm still can't.And so,my father give me an impact by saying these words,"I don't have a son who was this pathetic".My heart shattered.I don't want to cared about them......or be with them,since i know that they all hated me,even i know since my parents didn't come at the School Carnival that the classes are holding,and my friends wouldn't be there for me when i needed them most of the times.I lost my trust,and i only have was a few friends of KH13.

 

I hated myself.at first,i'm planning to become a Shut-in since people didn't care about me anyway.I didn't attend to school often and went inside my room for hours and not cared about anything,until i tried to make another plan:Didn't go to school at all.But that plan stopped until my friend who said "Low Class" to me,apologize to me at the Detention room after we fighting during when i'm attending at school.At first,we were fighting and arguing due to his dislike about my behaviour towards others than him.I acted cold and not cared others,even girls.And that's why the arguing was started.Now i know......he arguing that because he worried about me.The reason why he said "Low Class" words to me because his parents forbids him to befriend with me.Now i know why...

 

Also,my parents was also worried about me too.I know this when i eavesdropping them when my mom and dad were discussing at night.They say that they have to make cold decisions in order to make me become a better person,but in the end,it does not what they hope for.I'm began crying......after what they done.....and so,i've become a different person.....not becoming cold,not becoming uncared....but becoming a person that people need....and so,my problems have been resolved...

 

 

 

So yeah,that's it about my past.What's yours?

Edited July 13, 201312 yr by Hazimie

When I first saw this thread I mulled over whether I wanted to share much about me but I decided to anyways since someone here was ignorant enough to assume I Iived a 'privileged' life. I don't like to complain much about what I've been through bc I feel like most everyone has their cross to bear and there are always people suffering worse than you somewhere. I came from a product of divorce and my biological father was abusive and then ended up abandoning me and my brother after my parents divorced. My mom then remarried and my stepfather beat us severely with anything he had around and it wasn't until the courts took me away after finding out he was sexually assaulting me that I had any relief. Ironically, this was the second time in my life at such a young age i was sexually assaulted bc the neighbor my mom trusted to babysit my brother and I got caught assaulting us red handed when she came home from getting groceries earlier than expected ..When my stepfather was doing it, he threatened our lives so many times it took me awhile to tell my mom and when I did tell her she didn't even do anything about it right away bc she didn't want to be divorced a second time and a single mom again . She then confided in a family friend who then contacted the police. She eventually got me back from foster care and got remarried again. She then had many more kids and being the oldest girl I was the one who took care of them all while my brothers who were only a year apart from me got to do whatever they wanted. I was the nanny and housekeeper in one . I wasn't allowed to do much outside of the house or hang out with any friends much. At school, bc I came from such a large family we couldn't afford many expensive clothes that the other kids wore and I was in the 'gifted ' classes so I was bullied relentlessly for years till one day I got in their faces and told them to firetruck off. It actually worked . From then on I just didn't give a firetruck and stuck up for myself . My only true best friend got ran over and died and I mourned her greatly. I graduated early from high school at 16 and my dream was to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. But I almost died and was diagnosed with Crohns and Ulcerative Colitis and have struggled with it ever since. I have lost half my colon and have had many many blood transfusions..I lost my dream of flying which devastated me. I did go to college and got a degree in Dietetics but it wasn't what I truly wanted .I worked my way through and worked in the food industry and whenever I excelled i had other co-workers resent me and say the only reason I got 'favored ' treatment at work was bc of my looks when it had EVERYTHING to do with my top numbers and work performance and nothing to do with that. They would spread rumors that I must be sleeping with the general manager and other BS. None of it was true. I have had to take medical leave from everything bc I spend so much time in the hospital and sick that it has taken over my life completely. People have literally looked down upon me for being sick like I have any choice in it .. Anyways, this is just a basic synopsis and I have left some stuff out for reasons but my point to this post is, be careful who you judge and how you treat people and do not assume you think you know who they are and what their lives have been . You may be surprised.

Even though I knew all this stuff about you it still makes both angry (that you had to go through that at all) and astounded that despite all that you've gone through(and still go through) you've remained pure in faith and heart. You and I have seen a lot of shit and over the years it has made me jaded and cold to most people outside of my inner circle. I can admit that there are only a handfull of people in my life who I truly care for.Yet you are different in that sense in spite of all that's been put on your plate you still remained a good person even though people continue to push you down. I just want you to know that you are the only reason I've been able to tolerate all the bullshit that's been going on in my life over the past year. You and I are two of a kind and I'm proud to call you my best friend. I'll continue to have your back and just as I've always have.

Even though I knew all this stuff about you it still makes both angry (that you had to go through that at all) and astounded that despite all that you've gone through(and still go through) you've remained pure in faith and heart. You and I have seen a lot of shit and over the years it has made me jaded and cold to most people outside of my inner circle. I can admit that there are only a handfull of people in my life who I truly care for.Yet you are different in that sense in spite of all that's been put on your plate you still remained a good person even though people continue to push you down. I just want you to know that you are the only reason I've been able to tolerate all the bullshit that's been going on in my life over the past year. You and I are two of a kind and I'm proud to call you my best friend. I'll continue to have your back and just as I've always have.

 

Awwww Robbie you know I feel the same and I will always have your back whenever you need me. Thanks for being such a great friend to me 

 

Totally agreed.  My childhood does seem that bad now.

 

Let's see - I have so much to say.  To start, because I have ADHD teachers at school always thought I couldn't do the stuff I was capable of.  I had to fight to get into honors classes in high school.  In middle school I was the reject of the rejects and the friends I had were only being nice to me to make fun of me like everyone else.  I was just so happy to make friends that I didn't even notice it because I always wanted to have friends my age so I could always have someone to partner with.  The best thing that happened to me was them going to a different high school.

 

My childhood was bad, but not as bad as what some of you talked about.  Thank you all, especially Flaming Lea, for showing me that.  We are fighters, and I'm so happy to have friends who know what a childhood of hardships is like.

 

Adversity doesn't build character , it REVEALS it. Always keep your chin up my friend !

Edited July 8, 201312 yr by Flaming Lea

trigger warning for sexual abuse/abuse in gen as well as eating disorders and self hate.

 

mmm okay lets start off with when i was 6 years old and was in a very bad car accident that basically makes me anxious and scared to be in cars/drive so theres that, very insignificant but still there. makes it very nerve racking to drive tbh but its a lot better. the car had basically flipped completely over with my mom and my sister and i. i was okay but what really messed me up the most is that prior to that, my parents had been in a big argument and my mom was taking us with her to live with her mother and we got in the accident while on the way. i think this attributes to my anxiety about my parents fighting verbally.

 

as well, i forget what age, but haha my cousins and i would um do sexual things?? not just one cousin but several and it was pretty much dubious consent on my part haha. thats all i have to say on this.

 

along with this i was a pretty chunky ugly child as well as an emotional one who didnt take well to teasing but i am unsure if i just was very sensitive or if it was because my family would sort of gang up on me to tease and make fun of me. my cousins would call me names and make fun of my appearance and ignore me and just act like they wanted nothing to do with me (unless it was something to do with the above statement) so i was very lonely among  my family.

 

and at school, kids were just as cruel and i dont believe there was a day that didnt come home crying because of nasty kids at school. i was treated like trash. i was called a dog and ugly and told me i didnt matter and that my feelings didnt matter and that no one loved me and that was so drilled into me that i still believe it sometimes. i was very suicidal in my late elementary years and first two years of middle school. 

 

i developed self harm habits in 7th grade and my left arm was covered in cuts. when my parents found out, my mom had this massive fit and became very violent, locking herself in the bathroom and breaking things in there and my dad placed the blame on me. instead of resolving to figure out why i was hurting myself, they got mad at me for doing it and threatened me if i continued. i still self harm now and my mom saw them again and brushed it off and made another threat if i didnt stop. i burn myself too as a form of self harm. at this point in time, my family really doesnt give a shit about my self harm.

 

being a chunky child and my mom and sister being fairly thin, i always got and still get comments about my eating habits and my weight. because of this, about a year ago (give or take), i developed several disordered eating habits and went through lots of starvation diets and lost 30 pounds through these habits. i became very obsessed with calories and to this day i cant go without calculating what ive eaten and what i have to do to get the calorie count to as low as possible without putting my body into starvation mode. i still struggle with body image and get very self conscious and emotional when regarding my weight. my mother still makes comments about my body and criticizes me for eating too much. 

 

my parents both have tempers and are very easy to set off. i've been yelled at so many times to the point of tears over things as simple as having a pair of shoes lying around that i am very sensitive to being yelled at and usually end up in tears when yelled at. my dad is very aggressive and threatens to hit me a lot and he has chased me down the hallway to smack me and has as well thrown a plate at me in the past. nothing recent has happened but those incidents make me uncomfortable around my dad and very nervous when he is upset at anyone because he takes it out on everyone. my mother is violent when angry and has a victim complex and blames me for every single thing that upsets her and when i dispute it, it results in her breaking something and crying and screaming. she has broken a kitchen cabinet, a mirror, and punched a whole in the wall among many other things. im pretty much scared shitless of my mom and can't relate to either of my parents.

 

i'm constantly misgendered so i have panic attacks sometimes when im feeling extremely dysphoric and basically makes me want to crawl out of my skin and die in a hole and makes me want to throw up. im stuck having to present as stereotypical female and while i dont mind a lot because i consider myself feminine, it makes me sick because i know people will read me as female and i want to scream that im not. 

 

i still have constant suicidal thoughts and against the suggestion of both a counselor and a psychiatrist, my parents had denied me anti-depression medications.

 

i have a lot of regret about not killing myself a few years back and have gotten very close to going through. with it.

 

i get lots of self hating thoughts because of a lot of this, lots of feelings of worthlessness and constantly feel like i dont deserve to live at all. i'm still a very lonely person because i hardly have friends that keep in touch with in real life and my family is very separated and i can go a few days without speaking to my mother, father, or sister. i have constant thoughts of giving up and constant fear that i'll go through with it and constant fear that people wont care or will even think i deserve it

Edited July 8, 201312 yr by Koko

All of these posts are really interesting and thought-provoking. This seems like a great topic for us to understand each other better, and I think it's awesome that all of you have shared. My story isn't as traumatic as some of yours, but I think it would be worth sharing. I think I'll post some stuff about me here too, but not now. It's 2:00 in the morning here, and I'm too tired to write a whole article on my life at the moment.

Soooooo, my past isn't exactly that bad ESPECIALLY compared to a lot of people who have posted here. But there are some things that I have put up with that for a long ass time and still today I find pretty damn embarrassing and not exactly fun for me to remember. My parents divorced when I was 8 after many years of fighting, verbally and physically. I've never straight up been given the truth on things, only different stories from both sides. My mom claims my dad cheated on her, my dad claims my mom was too frustrating to put up with and that he didn't cheat. I can only go off of things I remember, which isn't much considering my age, and things that have been said today. I don't have proof, but I think my dad was suffering from depression and was on medication for it around that time. My step-mom said that he once suffered from depression and that he had recently been suffering from it once again in an attempt to make me feel bad during an argument when I was a teenager. I saw the medication on the counter once, but he never told me anything about it. After my parents divorced, I lived with my mom who was... pretty odd. She would take my brother and I out on school nights at 1 or 2 am for Taco Bell and such because she was too lazy to cook and enforce a bed time. She had very few rules aside from really stupid controlling ones yet did very little to enforce them except on rare surprising occasions. She walked around the house naked and in underwear until I was nearly 14, she bathed me until I was nearly 14, she clipped my toe-nails until they'd bleed which caused me to start up the bad habit of biting my nails to keep her from doing it. Which I still do today, etc. I once told other kids about it in Elementary school and they made fun of me. I didn't realize how horrible it was at the time because I didn't know any different. I began to resent her quite a bit for it at the time and resisted her at times, but it was difficult because I didn't have anybody to help me. She was my mom and she was in charge. My dad found out and flipped out. So when I was 13 since I had gotten older, I began to argue back and even physically fight back and repeatedly disobey her out of anger and to get her to stop doing these things. Eventually I tried to move out and in with my dad. I once called my dad crying about how horrible she was and he asked me to put her on the phone. I did and he flipped out and then my mom ran up behind me and pushed me to the ground, as I was still crying and screamed at me that my dad was threatening to take me and stop paying her child support. When I was 14 I had planned on moving in with my dad over the summer. He came up to visit my brother, who is 3 and a half years younger than me, and was going to take us with him from PA to NC. He then told us that we'd have to wait because he lived in a small place with my step-mom and didn't have a lot of room for us. He called my mom to send us back over and she told him the doors were locked, she was out of town, and good riddance to us. My dad got pissed and my step-mom tried talking to her. She told her we had barely any clothes since we had not packed for it. My mom told her "Well I guess you'll be doing a lot of laundry then." My mom and I are fine today, but I definitely can't talk to her for very long without getting frustrated or easily infuriated.

When I first saw this thread I mulled over whether I wanted to share much about me but I decided to anyways since someone here was ignorant enough to assume I Iived a 'privileged' life. I don't like to complain much about what I've been through bc I feel like most everyone has their cross to bear and there are always people suffering worse than you somewhere. I came from a product of divorce and my biological father was abusive and then ended up abandoning me and my brother after my parents divorced. My mom then remarried and my stepfather beat us severely with anything he had around and it wasn't until the courts took me away after finding out he was sexually assaulting me that I had any relief. Ironically, this was the second time in my life at such a young age i was sexually assaulted bc the neighbor my mom trusted to babysit my brother and I got caught assaulting us red handed when she came home from getting groceries earlier than expected ..When my stepfather was doing it, he threatened our lives so many times it took me awhile to tell my mom and when I did tell her she didn't even do anything about it right away bc she didn't want to be divorced a second time and a single mom again . She then confided in a family friend who then contacted the police. She eventually got me back from foster care and got remarried again. She then had many more kids and being the oldest girl I was the one who took care of them all while my brothers who were only a year apart from me got to do whatever they wanted. I was the nanny and housekeeper in one . I wasn't allowed to do much outside of the house or hang out with any friends much. At school, bc I came from such a large family we couldn't afford many expensive clothes that the other kids wore and I was in the 'gifted ' classes so I was bullied relentlessly for years till one day I got in their faces and told them to firetruck off. It actually worked . From then on I just didn't give a firetruck and stuck up for myself . My only true best friend got ran over and died and I mourned her greatly. I graduated early from high school at 16 and my dream was to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. But I almost died and was diagnosed with Crohns and Ulcerative Colitis and have struggled with it ever since. I have lost half my colon and have had many many blood transfusions..I lost my dream of flying which devastated me. I did go to college and got a degree in Dietetics but it wasn't what I truly wanted .I worked my way through and worked in the food industry and whenever I excelled i had other co-workers resent me and say the only reason I got 'favored ' treatment at work was bc of my looks when it had EVERYTHING to do with my top numbers and work performance and nothing to do with that. They would spread rumors that I must be sleeping with the general manager and other BS. None of it was true. I have had to take medical leave from everything bc I spend so much time in the hospital and sick that it has taken over my life completely. People have literally looked down upon me for being sick like I have any choice in it .. Anyways, this is just a basic synopsis and I have left some stuff out for reasons but my point to this post is, be careful who you judge and how you treat people and do not assume you think you know who they are and what their lives have been . You may be surprised.

 

Not to ignore the rest of this poignant post but...MY LEA'S A GENIUS?! THAT IS SO COOL! AHHHH, I'M FRIENDS WITH A GENIUS, THIS IS SO AWESOME!! I'M SO PROUD! I MEAN I KNEW YOU WERE SOMETHING ELSE BUT A GENIUS!! AHHHHH!*faints*

 

This is awesome...

Not to ignore the rest of this poignant post but...MY LEA'S A GENIUS?! THAT IS SO COOL! AHHHH, I'M FRIENDS WITH A GENIUS, THIS IS SO AWESOME!! I'M SO PROUD! I MEAN I KNEW YOU WERE SOMETHING ELSE BUT A GENIUS!! AHHHHH!*faints*

 

This is awesome...

 

 

LOL! It's not that big of a deal ! You are too funny

Just wanted to say, it's a rare occasion when I actually input any worthwhile thoughts on anything here, but you are seriously amazing people to have been through this shit, and still be here. I honestly and genuinely think you guys are freakin' awesome.  

LOL! It's not that big of a deal ! You are too funny

 

Lea its a huge deal!!! My friend is the cleverest person on this site! And in addition to that is also one of the coolest people I know. You're practically super human! You're far more of a winner than I am! XDLea its a huge deal!!! My friend is the cleverest person on this site! And in addition to that is also one of the coolest people I know. You're practically super human! You're far more of a winner than I am!

Lea its a huge deal!!! My friend is the cleverest person on this site! And in addition to that is also one of the coolest people I know. You're practically super human! You're far more of a winner than I am! XDLea its a huge deal!!! My friend is the cleverest person on this site! And in addition to that is also one of the coolest people I know. You're practically super human! You're far more of a winner than I am!

 

 

 I'm sooooo flattered !!  XDD  ...No YOU are a winner, Winner! . I'm just one of many people that know it!

Awww Lea now I'm flattered!! Means a lot coming from you! <33333

When I first saw this thread I mulled over whether I wanted to share much about me but I decided to anyways since someone here was ignorant enough to assume I Iived a 'privileged' life. I don't like to complain much about what I've been through bc I feel like most everyone has their cross to bear and there are always people suffering worse than you somewhere. I came from a product of divorce and my biological father was abusive and then ended up abandoning me and my brother after my parents divorced. My mom then remarried and my stepfather beat us severely with anything he had around and it wasn't until the courts took me away after finding out he was sexually assaulting me that I had any relief. Ironically, this was the second time in my life at such a young age i was sexually assaulted bc the neighbor my mom trusted to babysit my brother and I got caught assaulting us red handed when she came home from getting groceries earlier than expected ..When my stepfather was doing it, he threatened our lives so many times it took me awhile to tell my mom and when I did tell her she didn't even do anything about it right away bc she didn't want to be divorced a second time and a single mom again . She then confided in a family friend who then contacted the police. She eventually got me back from foster care and got remarried again. She then had many more kids and being the oldest girl I was the one who took care of them all while my brothers who were only a year apart from me got to do whatever they wanted. I was the nanny and housekeeper in one . I wasn't allowed to do much outside of the house or hang out with any friends much. At school, bc I came from such a large family we couldn't afford many expensive clothes that the other kids wore and I was in the 'gifted ' classes so I was bullied relentlessly for years till one day I got in their faces and told them to firetruck off. It actually worked . From then on I just didn't give a firetruck and stuck up for myself . My only true best friend got ran over and died and I mourned her greatly. I graduated early from high school at 16 and my dream was to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. But I almost died and was diagnosed with Crohns and Ulcerative Colitis and have struggled with it ever since. I have lost half my colon and have had many many blood transfusions..I lost my dream of flying which devastated me. I did go to college and got a degree in Dietetics but it wasn't what I truly wanted .I worked my way through and worked in the food industry and whenever I excelled i had other co-workers resent me and say the only reason I got 'favored ' treatment at work was bc of my looks when it had EVERYTHING to do with my top numbers and work performance and nothing to do with that. They would spread rumors that I must be sleeping with the general manager and other BS. None of it was true. I have had to take medical leave from everything bc I spend so much time in the hospital and sick that it has taken over my life completely. People have literally looked down upon me for being sick like I have any choice in it .. Anyways, this is just a basic synopsis and I have left some stuff out for reasons but my point to this post is, be careful who you judge and how you treat people and do not assume you think you know who they are and what their lives have been . You may be surprised.

 

1) I didn't want to like your post since I thought of it as liking your past but oh well I liked it. x-x

2) I knew some of that but that is terrible, I really feel bad for you. I also like how you didn't stop being who you are even after those tragedies. I also love how you didn't give a shit about what other people think, I mean, I had trouble thinking like that but to be honest it helps A LOT. 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Oh boy here I go, same with Lea I didn't really want to post this but a few people knew so I thought why not. 

 

NOTE: These things seem unbelievable, and I am trying understand how it works but apparently, everything said about my past (mainly my family's past) is true.

 

 

A bit before I was born, most of my family was at India. My mom is Japanese/Indian/British while my dad was a Mexican/Indian/Dominican. Yup 2 multicultural families. My grandmother from my dad's side really hated my mom, she wasn't like the rest of her family who had men having fun and her daughters in power. Her sons wives doing all the work, so this had to be the same for my mom, but she talked to some of the wives because she knew it was utter bullshit this was happening. None of them sided with her, so she ended up going against my dad's mom anyways. She yelled and scolded her for what she is doing but both my dad's mom AND her daughter got so severely angry. When my dad found out he was a bit conflicted, so he tried to help my mom into leaving the house to go back to her own family. Of course some fight spewed up, never really understood it, but that caused my mom to be very angry when she got back to her own family. Her father wouldn't let my father inside for that very reason, he said if he is going to have a family with her he better put his act up. Of course my father agreed and decided to be a better father. This led to the birth of my brother, and they lived in another village later on happily. My father went back to his extended family, who is still trying to like but keeps pushing him away, and found out one of the family members son is sick. So he took him and brought him back to our village without letting his mother find out. When he got back he gave the child to my mom to take care of, and because she knew how terrible that place was, she took care of him. My father then decided it is time to go to America. I've always wondered why we were the only ones here out of all the people they knew in India. My father worked a lot, but then his personality became much worse as the time goes. His ego expanded and stereotypes surrounded him, but this was influenced by the fact that his family hated him. Though it was more of his own fault, which i'll get to later. Years have passed and finally we were allowed into America with a green card, remember I was not born yet. When we got to America the kid grew up and apparently survived the disease for quite a while. My brother and him played together and when my mother found out my father was being kind of a dick just because he got money she started to despise him. Later in the months the boy got extremely sick, so he was brought to the hospital to be saved and possibly cured. My father was worried since it was part of his own blood. Later on, it was declared that the boy died and that was a main point where my family changed. My father became more angry and hated on everyone in this family. He would abuse my mother and my brother almost all the time. He would beat him up for not eating if he is not hungry, make him throw up and then make him eat the food. Sadly, I was about to be born. When I came into this world (majestically), my father tried to love me, but he still had this abusive side to him. He would do the same thing to me as he did to my brother, beat me up, make me throw up, etc. My mom always tried to stop him, but he never cared. No one could've stopped him while we were young and while mom doesn't let anyone else know. Around the time I was 5, my grandmother would still not stop hating on my mom and letting that boy live. This is the part where everything starts being a bit weird, since it involved dark magic. My grandmother actually cursed my mom to gain severe back pain to the point where she really can't do anything. My father didn't believe her, and said that she was just playing around. So she never got surgery or anything. She cried so much because of the fact she wont be able to help me or my brother while we were just children. That did not just end right there. I became the person who is in danger now. My grandmother found out that I was born so she sent some of her sons to go kill me. They either live in Canada, America, or around here. They don't know the correct place, but they know I exist. They want to kill me just to make my mom mourn. It's the reason she is so overprotective. When my father found out, he became overprotective too. Hypocritical, I know. I still like that they were so protective of me, but at that time, I never knew this was going on. I never knew for a while. This also the reason why my mom is so paranoid, because she is just too afraid over everything. Now off to some other parts of my life. I'm not sure which year, but at one point I was being my dumb self and was jumping over sofas and stuff. I had no control, but at one point I jumped off a sofa in this hole that was created between 2 sofas and a corner-table. I put my hand over onto the corner-table to pull myself up but instead I touched a iron which gave me a huge scar on the back of my left hand. My parents were so scared they immediately got me into the hospital for help. They lied about what happened, but it still saved my life since it was apparently burning through my skin. At this point, the scar was on the back of my left hand and halfway through my fingers. Not pretty at all. I went on a normal life, not knowing that I was in danger 100% of the time. In elementary I got bullied each grade because apparently I was too weird and I couldn't fit in. People cursed at me, attacked me, and it was just hell. I even cried at times in the closet where everyone puts their backpacks and stuff and when someone found out they laughed at me. I usually fake-sick my way out of the school almost all the time. I got put into counseling and I hated everything that was going on in there. I disliked it when people tried to help me, because once they say they are they never help. So I developed a very pessimistic attitude and cared about myself only. During my summer vacation before 5th grade started me and my family took a trip back to India for me to meet her extended family. I had so much fun and loved everyone and they also loved me as well. I always used to climb walls and play with dogs and other animals. I hated the insects though, like there were 5 billion flies and mosquitoes and I couldn't adapt with them until half way. We also took a trip to meet my dads adopted family side, who I never knew existed. I always though it was his mom but I didn't realize he was adopted. I think he is? It was implied, but I think they were more of a family than his actual family I suppose. My mom made sure I was safe 100%, and hated when I wandered outside by myself, which I did almost every time  I also caught a glimpse of my dad's mother, and she already gave me the looks that she hates me. My mom told me to not talk to her, and she called her a bitch in front of me. Middle School came and around this time my brother said I was kind of safe. I also had a hard time finding friends besides this one girl who knows the bullies are being dicks even though she is friends with them. Then after halfway, I became friends with the entire class. I usually thought it was because of my pessimistic behavior that I took most of the insults the wrong way, because we all know how teenagers act towards each other. In 7th grade I became more rebellious towards my mother, I always hated how she was overprotective and how she wouldn't let me do anything at all. She wouldn't let me go outside my whole life, but remember I didn't know anything that I've just said at this point in time. In 8th grade everything went downhill, I found new better friends who I didn't 100% agree with but I did have more fun with them. I used to hang out with a group of guys since we had similar interests, but they all started to become awful towards me and only used me for the food I had. I felt so dumb when I noticed they were using me, so I practically left them without letting them know. They claim they were my "true friends" and they come up to me and say "why did you leave" and usually I told them to firetruck off. One of the guys I liked was an asshole, so I stopped having a crush on him and looking back I never realized why I liked him. I also developed a depression, I usually got yelled at by my mom, my brother sides with my mom all the time, I usually get punched or insulted by the guys in the class now and I felt like total shit. The reason I didn't self-harm is because I always told myself that I'm not going to hurt myself because of those idiots. I slowly got out of my depression because of my new friends, me becoming a bit more pessimistic, and mainly because of KH13. Yup it was the first year I joined accidentally because I was like "Oh we can talk to the people here about this game, well why not" but I didn't expect this shit to happen. When I joined the livestream of KH3D was over so I was a bit annoyed. I met so many great friends here who got me through my depression easily. I lost some great friends too, who either became worse or because of no reason whatsoever. But I still was happy and this not hold a grudge. All I learned in my life was not to hold a grudge, but be smart with your decisions. I can become happier and possibly survive. I'm still very insecure, and 9th grade was the best year for me since I loved everyone and everyone loved me too. Even though I cried once everyone came up to me to make me feel better, something no one ever did. I even got a text from a friend who made me feel bad, and he apologized through a large wall of text. I forgave him, but even after a week I cried people still asked me why I cried and I never told them. I rather keep things to myself (contradicting since I posted this...). So yes, don't hold a grudge since it will just make your life worse, and be smart with your decisions so your life will be easier. I found out everything in 8th grade, so I hugged my mom after that and decided "Sure we can have a few fights..." but I stopped my rebellious acts so she can have a better life. She gotten better with her back pain, my father isn't able to attack us anymore because we are grown up (he doesn't even apologize), and now I am pretty safe. Here is the privileged life for ya. 

 

 

I'll type more later, I have to go and I'll come back.

 

EDIT: Alright finished enjoy guys. 

 

​This also beats that stereotype that only people who are super pessimistic have a terrible past, when I am usually positive and realistic. 

Edited July 8, 201312 yr by Shana09

1) I didn't want to like your post since I thought of it as liking your past but oh well I liked it. x-x

2) I knew some of that but that is terrible, I really feel bad for you. I also like how you didn't stop being who you are even after those tragedies. I also love how you didn't give a shit about what other people think, I mean, I had trouble thinking like that but to be honest it helps A LOT. 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Oh boy here I go, same with Lea I didn't really want to post this but a few people knew so I thought why not. 

 

NOTE: These things seem unbelievable, and I am trying understand how it works but apparently, everything said about my past (mainly my family's past) is true.

 

 

A bit before I was born, most of my family was at India. My mom is Japanese/Indian/British while my dad was a Mexican/Indian/Dominican. Yup 2 multicultural families. My grandmother from my dad's side really hated my mom, she wasn't like the rest of her family who had men having fun and her daughters in power. Her sons wives doing all the work, so this had to be the same for my mom, but she talked to some of the wives because she knew it was utter bullshit this was happening. None of them sided with her, so she ended up going against my dad's mom anyways. She yelled and scolded her for what she is doing but both my dad's mom AND her daughter got so severely angry. When my dad found out he was a bit conflicted, so he tried to help my mom into leaving the house to go back to her own family. Of course some fight spewed up, never really understood it, but that caused my mom to be very angry when she got back to her own family. Her father wouldn't let my father inside for that very reason, he said if he is going to have a family with her he better put his act up. Of course my father agreed and decided to be a better father. This led to the birth of my brother, and they lived in another village later on happily. My father went back to his extended family, who is still trying to like but keeps pushing him away, and found out one of the family members son is sick. So he took him and brought him back to our village without letting his mother find out. When he got back he gave the child to my mom to take care of, and because she knew how terrible that place was, she took care of him. My father then decided it is time to go to America. I've always wondered why we were the only ones here out of all the people they knew in India. My father worked a lot, but then his personality became much worse as the time goes. His ego expanded and stereotypes surrounded him, but this was influenced by the fact that his family hated him. Though it was more of his own fault, which i'll get to later. Years have passed and finally we were allowed into America with a green card, remember I was not born yet. When we got to America the kid grew up and apparently survived the disease for quite a while. My brother and him played together and when my mother found out my father was being kind of a dick just because he got money she started to despise him. Later in the months the boy got extremely sick, so he was brought to the hospital to be saved and possibly cured. My father was worried since it was part of his own blood. Later on, it was declared that the boy died and that was a main point where my family changed. My father became more angry and hated on everyone in this family. He would abuse my mother and my brother almost all the time. He would beat him up for not eating if he is not hungry, make him throw up and then make him eat the food. Sadly, I was about to be born. When I came into this world (majestically), my father tried to love me, but he still had this abusive side to him. He would do the same thing to me as he did to my brother, beat me up, make me throw up, etc. My mom always tried to stop him, but he never cared. No one could've stopped him while we were young and while mom doesn't let anyone else know. Around the time I was 5, my grandmother would still not stop hating on my mom and letting that boy live. This is the part where everything starts being a bit weird, since it involved dark magic. My grandmother actually cursed my mom to gain severe back pain to the point where she really can't do anything. My father didn't believe her, and said that she was just playing around. So she never got surgery or anything. She cried so much because of the fact she wont be able to help me or my brother while we were just children. That did not just end right there. I became the person who is in danger now. My grandmother found out that I was born so she sent some of her sons to go kill me. They either live in Canada, America, or around here. They don't know the correct place, but they know I exist. They want to kill me just to make my mom mourn. It's the reason she is so overprotective. When my father found out, he became overprotective too. Hypocritical, I know. I still like that they were so protective of me, but at that time, I never knew this was going on. I never knew for a while. This also the reason why my mom is so paranoid, because she is just too afraid over everything. Now off to some other parts of my life. I'm not sure which year, but at one point I was being my dumb self and was jumping over sofas and stuff. I had no control, but at one point I jumped off a sofa in this hole that was created between 2 sofas and a corner-table. I put my hand over onto the corner-table to pull myself up but instead I touched a iron which gave me a huge scar on the back of my left hand. My parents were so scared they immediately got me into the hospital for help. They lied about what happened, but it still saved my life since it was apparently burning through my skin. At this point, the scar was on the back of my left hand and halfway through my fingers. Not pretty at all. I went on a normal life, not knowing that I was in danger 100% of the time. In elementary I got bullied each grade because apparently I was too weird and I couldn't fit in. People cursed at me, attacked me, and it was just hell. I even cried at times in the closet where everyone puts their backpacks and stuff and when someone found out they laughed at me. I usually fake-sick my way out of the school almost all the time. I got put into counseling and I hated everything that was going on in there. I disliked it when people tried to help me, because once they say they are they never help. So I developed a very pessimistic attitude and cared about myself only. During my summer vacation before 5th grade started me and my family took a trip back to India for me to meet her extended family. I had so much fun and loved everyone and they also loved me as well. I always used to climb walls and play with dogs and other animals. I hated the insects though, like there were 5 billion flies and mosquitoes and I couldn't adapt with them until half way. We also took a trip to meet my dads adopted family side, who I never knew existed. I always though it was his mom but I didn't realize he was adopted. I think he is? It was implied, but I think they were more of a family than his actual family I suppose. My mom made sure I was safe 100%, and hated when I wandered outside by myself, which I did almost every time  I also caught a glimpse of my dad's mother, and she already gave me the looks that she hates me. My mom told me to not talk to her, and she called her a bitch in front of me. Middle School came and around this time my brother said I was kind of safe. I also had a hard time finding friends besides this one girl who knows the bullies are being dicks even though she is friends with them. Then after halfway, I became friends with the entire class. I usually thought it was because of my pessimistic behavior that I took most of the insults the wrong way, because we all know how teenagers act towards each other. In 7th grade I became more rebellious towards my mother, I always hated how she was overprotective and how she wouldn't let me do anything at all. She wouldn't let me go outside my whole life, but remember I didn't know anything that I've just said at this point in time. In 8th grade everything went downhill, I found new better friends who I didn't 100% agree with but I did have more fun with them. I used to hang out with a group of guys since we had similar interests, but they all started to become awful towards me and only used me for the food I had. I felt so dumb when I noticed they were using me, so I practically left them without letting them know. They claim they were my "true friends" and they come up to me and say "why did you leave" and usually I told them to firetruck off. One of the guys I liked was an asshole, so I stopped having a crush on him and looking back I never realized why I liked him. I also developed a depression, I usually got yelled at by my mom, my brother sides with my mom all the time, I usually get punched or insulted by the guys in the class now and I felt like total shit. The reason I didn't self-harm is because I always told myself that I'm not going to hurt myself because of those idiots. I slowly got out of my depression because of my new friends, me becoming a bit more pessimistic, and mainly because of KH13. Yup it was the first year I joined accidentally because I was like "Oh we can talk to the people here about this game, well why not" but I didn't expect this shit to happen. When I joined the livestream of KH3D was over so I was a bit annoyed. I met so many great friends here who got me through my depression easily. I lost some great friends too, who either became worse or because of no reason whatsoever. But I still was happy and this not hold a grudge. All I learned in my life was not to hold a grudge, but be smart with your decisions. I can become happier and possibly survive. I'm still very insecure, and 9th grade was the best year for me since I loved everyone and everyone loved me too. Even though I cried once everyone came up to me to make me feel better, something no one ever did. I even got a text from a friend who made me feel bad, and he apologized through a large wall of text. I forgave him, but even after a week I cried people still asked me why I cried and I never told them. I rather keep things to myself (contradicting since I posted this...). So yes, don't hold a grudge since it will just make your life worse, and be smart with your decisions so your life will be easier. I found out everything in 8th grade, so I hugged my mom after that and decided "Sure we can have a few fights..." but I stopped my rebellious acts so she can have a better life. She gotten better with her back pain, my father isn't able to attack us anymore because we are grown up (he doesn't even apologize), and now I am pretty safe. Here is the privileged life for ya. 

 

 

I'll type more later, I have to go and I'll come back.

 

EDIT: Alright finished enjoy guys. 

 

​This also beats that stereotype that only people who are super pessimistic have a terrible past, when I am usually positive and realistic. 

 

 

Please don't feel bad for me just remember that though we have suffered we have learned much about ourselves and others and just become even better people for it .I also feel for your suffering and am sorry you had to go through what you did but you are an amazing person at the end of the day and you should be proud of who you are and what you have overcome. Don't worry what others think of you. What matters is that you be true to yourself and the rest will work itself out eventually. 

Please don't feel bad for me just remember that though we have suffered we have learned much about ourselves and others and just become even better people for it .I also feel for your suffering and am sorry you had to go through what you did but you are an amazing person at the end of the day and you should be proud of who you are and what you have overcome. Don't worry what others think of you. What matters is that you be true to yourself and the rest will work itself out eventually. 

Besides this, I'm still in a bit of shock. I know people have horrible pasts, but some of these...I wish you were firetrucking with me. I really do.

 

I racked my brain for awhile, trying to find a way to convey what I wanted to say to you, Lea, you, ApprenticeOfKingMickey. You too, Koko. Reading your stories, it was a somewhat humbling and inspiring experience. i see you all happy, joking, and mostly being awesome. It's more then just inspiring, actually. It's downright amazing.

 

To know you fight on despite all of what has happened...God, spent four hours thinking and i still have trouble convey the emotions I wanna convey...

 

Just know, that everyone who has revealed their pasts..you're some of the bravest people I've met, and  it's an honor to know you.

 

 

As for me...my story is pretty...bland.

 

My parents got divorced when I was around two or three. I've bounced around homes and the only real constant in my life was my friends. That's the basis of my life, really. My friends.

I was always bullied. Pre-K, I fought back and got in trouble. The thing is, it was usually self defense. One kid dumped sand on me, I dumped back. Then I got in trouble. That illustrates my life.

 

People bullied me, I lashed back, I got in trouble. This went on for my entire elementary school life. I have a short and horrible temper, one I hate and have managed to control as of recent. But back then, people would bully me with words, shunning. I'd fight, lash out. Innocent people got hurt sometimes, rarely.

Finding my age group absolute shit, I turned to the younger kids for friends. I thought I found some, but the best was a girl named Ashley. It's funny, because throught the years, a girl named Ashley has always had this...impact on me. This Ashley was funny, kind, and one of the truest friends I had. She was my first Kairi, for an analogy.

 

I lost most of my friends after awhile. I was used and it was horrible.

Soon enough. I had around three or four friends. I lost all but one when I changed from Elemetary to Middle school. This guy, Nick, was one of my closest friends. We were BFs for awhile, but we lost our friendship for maybe half the school year. This asshole named Jared got between us...but I proved the better man. Nick fell down a flight of stairs one day, the cause unknown. I was blamed by Jared, but some others, but the thing was, I was next to him when it happened.

 

Nick blamed me anyways.

 

I ran for a teacher, ran back, then went to the Nurses Office. I gave him my chocolate cupcake (Ding-Dongs, yaknow, before Hostess died) and left for my class.

For the following two or so months I managed to get by. Regaining Nick finally, he apologized around Eight grade or late Seventh for it all. It was then that I met a girl named Christina...I had a major crush on her, and if I had stayed in California I would have asked her out, I'm sure.

 

But then I moved to Texas. And the bullying followed. You see, I look like Meenkis from Boy Meets World (apparently?) and was called Meenkis and w/e for years. That sorta followed me to Texas, but that wasn't all that followed.

 

My stepmom. I have a strange relationship with her, one that's love-hate. I love her, but I want to beat her with a baseball bat sometimes. So, on top of the bullying and stress of High School, I had to deal with what was, to me, indifference, neglect, and general stereotypical stepmom stuff. It got worse as time went on, but my second Kairi appeared.

 

Her name, too, was Ashley, and she's my best friend. her home life, from what I learned, was not good. We clicked somewhere, and five years later we're extremely close. She's like my sister, and that's what gets me through things. Knowing I got my BFF out there. Life was ok for the first two years of HS. Had my friends, and had my life. My stepmom fluctuated and such.

 

Junior year is where the pain returns. I met a girl named Kelsey. As I still cannot stop liking her, I've...resigned myself to being inflicted with unrequited love.

For the first year, I was her friend. Near the end, I tried to ask her out. I failed. So, I waited until Senior Year, as I had a chance.

 

Then her best friend changed. She changes them, which was ok. I understand you get closer to someone else at certain times. But...this girl didn't like me. She found me annoying. And soon enough...she didn't like me as I liked her. Multiple people said she liked me. People thought we were dating.

 

End of Senior year...I lost her. Now, a year later, she doesn't even return my emails. I have a Valentine's day gift sitting behind me still.

 

I lost more then someone I love. I lost a friend. And that is why you'll see me unload the tubes, fire the main guns, and release the swarms when my friends are in trouble. Friends are what I cherish more then anything, and I've noticed myself...that I've grown a bit different. As my emotional neglect and failure of understanding from my stepmom stresses me out as she demands I get a job or go to college (HI EXPENSIVE MONEY WE DONT HAVE) I've lost my friends, mostly. Ashley's up hours away. My other friend is there but busy. Rest of my friends...I've grown apart, but I'm so bitter at how I've been treated I forget to contact them.

 

And I can't even tell my parents I like yuri, or Strike Witches (hard to tell them I like an anime that has a lot of panty shots ).

 

It's not exactly horrific, it's not bad really. But to me, it's emotional pain, pain of losing the person you fell in love with (almost obsessively) and...loneliness.

 

So yeah. That's my painful past. Friends are away, the girl I love no longer contacts me, and I can't be myself anymore because I can't explain to my parents why, or even get through to them.

 

So...No offence if I tell the fleet to blow your ass away. I'm overprotective of my friends to the degree I'll go psycho soon.

 

 

 

...But it will get better. Just reading what everyone has gone through, and how their still fighting...I've dealt with far less, far, far less...So I can do it.

 

This just enforces my resolve.

Please don't feel bad for me just remember that though we have suffered we have learned much about ourselves and others and just become even better people for it .I also feel for your suffering and am sorry you had to go through what you did but you are an amazing person at the end of the day and you should be proud of who you are and what you have overcome. Don't worry what others think of you. What matters is that you be true to yourself and the rest will work itself out eventually. 

 

Thanks, but even knowing what happened to me I still leave my past behind and think more about the present. I'm not going to worry about people halfway around the world (funny since dark magic and shiz). I am still me and thats what I am going to work on. Insecurities another problem though ;^-^ but thanks and you're amazing. 

Besides this, I'm still in a bit of shock. I know people have horrible pasts, but some of these...I wish you were firetrucking with me. I really do.

 

I racked my brain for awhile, trying to find a way to convey what I wanted to say to you, Lea, you, ApprenticeOfKingMickey. You too, Koko. Reading your stories, it was a somewhat humbling and inspiring experience. i see you all happy, joking, and mostly being awesome. It's more then just inspiring, actually. It's downright amazing.

 

To know you fight on despite all of what has happened...God, spent four hours thinking and i still have trouble convey the emotions I wanna convey...

 

Just know, that everyone who has revealed their pasts..you're some of the bravest people I've met, and  it's an honor to know you.

 

I'm going to keep this short since it makes me uncomfortable to talk about it but I'm still in recovery, seeing a few shrinks and all that. I didn't start seeing any improvement until the month of June and now we're entering July so I'm hoping I won't crash again and be back to square one.

 

But thanks a lot for the kind words! It's not often I hear them from other people so even if it seems like I don't appreciate them, I actually do.

My dad killed him self after he got furiously mad and threw me to the wall hard when I was just a child. Serves him right for hitting me and my siblings,

 

 

I'm going to keep this short since it makes me uncomfortable to talk about it but I'm still in recovery, seeing a few shrinks and all that. I didn't start seeing any improvement until the month of June and now we're entering July so I'm hoping I won't crash again and be back to square one.

 

But thanks a lot for the kind words! It's not often I hear them from other people so even if it seems like I don't appreciate them, I actually do.

You won't crash.

 

Not while you have people here, and with you, who'll always be here for you.

 

Because that's what friends are for.

Ouch. It hurts so bad. 

Edited March 20, 201510 yr by Squirting Demyx

So I've been thinking about posting here. I finally figured, why not. So yeah. Don't know if this'll be very detailed. I'm just going to try to sum it up. Forgive me for not remembering ages at when things happen. It's hard to remember exactly when these things happened. Another thing. These things are kinda awkward for me to talk about so it might be written out weird.

 

 

 

I'm trying to think of where to start...Lets see. When I was very young my dad and mom would fight a lot. It was usually at night when we were all in bed. But I always heard them. After a while I could hear my dad get violent. He would slap my mom. I guess I should point out that I am a major Mama's boy. So yeah..There was that. Also my dad used to single me out a lot. We'd be helping with yard work a lot and he would smack me upside the head and tell me how much of a failure I am and whatnot. When I was about 7 or 8 my brother started molesting me and all of that jazz. So, that wasn't cool. Sooo when I was about...8? I think. My dad left my mom. At this point my older brother and sister had moved out. So it was just me and my younger sister. My dad would send my mom money and all that. So we were ok. Then my dad came back and got my mom pregnant so I had another sister. After that my mom started drinking a lot. So I helped take care of my two younger sisters. Later my dad showed up and took my sisters and left me with my mom. Which I was fine with seeing as I was close to my mom. But it still hurt that he left me out. After that he stopped sending my mom money. Her and I were left to fend for ourselves. Keep in mind my mom never finished high school and never had a job. The only thing she wanted to do was be a house mom. So she had no skills. We basically lived off of top roman and hot dogs. ( I hate top roman so bad now. yuck.) Anyways, when I was about 12 or 13, I think it was, I was walking home after school and the police was at my house. So I ran. I still don't know why they were there. But yeah that basically left me to be homeless. I would hide in alleys and everything and many different places so nobody could find me. I also stole food a few times and ate out of dumpsters.  I saw a lot of crazy things there. Crazy people and drugies. I had to run for my life from people many times. I also found what I believe was a dead body in a dumpster once. But yeah. Eventually my Grandma and Grandpa found me after about a year. So I lived with them and things were good. But they decided to move to North Dakota. (I lived in Ca at the time) So I was forced to move in with my dad. At first my dad acted like everything was fine. It was nice. But then he started beating me everyday. Severely... He'd pick me up by my hair and throw me across the room. Punch me in the face. A lot of things. He also liked to smack me in the knees a lot with a bat. (my knees are firetrucked up to this day) He'd ask for help on working on something. So I'd go help  and if i brought him the wrong tool he would throw it at me really hard. Say things like "Go get the right firetrucking tool you dumbass). He was very abusive to me mentally. Would call em things like, useless, frailer, sick, defective. He'd ask why I couldn't be more like my brother. Which actually hurt a lot considering what my brother had done to me. He never hurt the other kids. Which I was happy about. When I was a teenager I started hearing things getting paranoid about a lot of things and what not. So I told my dad. So he had me put into a crazy house. (I just call it that for reasons. ) But yeah. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. So I spend a while in the crazy house. That time of my life was kind of blurry. So I don't remember to much. Or I chose to forget. I don't know. But yeah. I came home and they had me on some strong meds that made me a zombie so I stopped taking them and decided to deal with it on my own. So yeah. Some people that I was very close to died. My aunt and my grandma. My grandma's death was especially hard to deal with because she was the person I confided in the most. So after that happened I had tried to hang myself in the woods of where I lived. It didn't work, obviously, because the rope broke. Oh I forgot to mention I used to cut my shoulders a lot. It was the best place to hide them. Also I'd burn myself and scald myself in the shower and stuff like that.  Oh yeah. Between the time I lived with my dad and my grandma got sick I had know clue where my mom was or if she was even alive. She eventually showed up To take care of my grandma. So that was nice. I eventually moved out of my dads place. Which was great. I had saved up money from a lot of odd jobs and things. I had $50,000. Which my girlfriend I was with for 5 years stole. She eventually broke up with me. Yada yada yada. ( I don't want to get into relationships. That would be to much typing haha) But yeah was depressed from that for a while. I dated this other girl. It wasn't the greatest. But I was ok. Then last year my best friend I ever had died in a car accented. That was really hard to take. Oh yeah that other girl I just talked about I was engaged to. But yeah. She broke up with me a week after my best friend died. So it was a pretty rough time for me. Buuut yeah. I'm basically watching my grandpa die. Which is hard sometimes but I am dealing with it. I moved on from all that stuff and found Lea and everything is great. I feel better than I ever have in my entire life.

 

I'm just gonna write that much. Some stuff I left out because I was either to lazy or somethings I just don't talk about. So yeah...There is that. See ya.

 

 

 

Of course now we have each other Despite both having painful pasts we were able to connect and bond with each other which is hard to do especially for me since I find it hard to trust many people. I believe we crossed paths for a reason and here we are ...

Of course now we have each other Despite both having painful pasts we were able to connect and bond with each other which is hard to do especially for me since I find it hard to trust many people. I believe we crossed paths for a reason and here we are ...

Indeed Ma'am.

My heart goes out to you guys.  Your stories of hardship and how you overcame them have inspired me to keep my head up high and be thankful that my past, although not great, was not that bad either.  Thanks for that.

My god. So many people here have such tragic pasts. And here i thought i was like one of the only ones. Hmm. Im really sorry to all of you, who had to endure such horrible things. I can't imagine some of the things that happened to you guys ever happening to me.

 

If you can believe it my Dad's past was alot worse then mine. BY SO MUCH. He told me about it, and he even wrote a book about it. It still hasn't gotten published yet though. I guess ill write it in Spoilers:

 

 

From when he was a baby, he was sensitive, like me. But that runs in my family on his side, so it was expected. Its one of the reasons why most of my family on his side are real Jackasses and whores. His parents were always fighting when he was a kid. His dad(my grandpa) would pretty much never be home for most of the time, he always went out and wasted all of his and his wife's(my grandma) money on gambling and playing poker, which he almost always lost. From what ive heard, my grandma was a real Bitch when my dad was a kid. She would always insult her kids(My dad and his older brother and younger sister). Same goes for my Grandpa, he would always call my dad "A no good bum bastard, who can't do anything right." And that my dad "would never be anything more then that." What a dick. My dad was bullied by the people in the neighborhood, and the kids were f***ing rotten to the core, going to throw snow balls as hard as rocks at him and s*** like that.

 

My grandma always called my dad a bad kid(but he was only liek that because of how f***ed up she and the rest of his family and the kids in the neighbor hood were to him) and had my grandpa whip him with a belt. She even went as far as to throw a HIGH HEEL SHOE AND HIM AND BREAK HIS NOSE. WTF? But my dad got most of his beatings from his older brother, who would either do it to "Toughen him up" or just for fun and to be a dick. My dad was too weak to be able to even fight back and defend himself, so my uncle pushed him around all the time. So you can imagine how he is now. He's gotten better, but now he's really depressed and has to take pills, otherwise he's get super pissed and in a horrible mood. He cusses alot too, which in turn is affecting me and why i cuss so much on here too. -_-

 

My dad has a f***ed up family, who are all too sensitive and are complete dicks. Thank god the family on my mom's side are catholic and really nice. Seriously.

 

Edited July 9, 201312 yr by spiderfreak1011

Here it is. I feel like this is nothing compared to what some of you guys have gone through (my hear goes out to all of you). But here is a rough idea of it...

 

 

 

Whelp I was bullied ever since I was a young kid (about 1st grade) until my 10th grade year in high school by people who took advantage of my shyness and tendency to shrug things off. At first I would get pushed around and have scratches and such from bullying but then as I got older it became more of mental bullying. I was mocked for my physical appearance and awkwardness toward people. By the time I got to middle school I had become a reclusive person and walled myself away from other people because I wanted nothing to do with them...sure I had a handful of people I trusted but everyone else was just a pain. I lost my best friend because she accused me of spreading rumors about her and she wouldn't leave me alone....she became one of my worst bullies. Basically my heart snapped.

 

I didn't know who I was for a while. I kinda lost myself trying to change for others and forgot who I was without realizing it. I constantly felt like someone was watching my every move, waiting for me to make a mistake and laugh at me for it....which happened....a lot. Eventually I became someone I wasn't. That took years to fix. I remember playing for a soccer team years ago and having them poke at me when I did something wrong. I became more and more quiet until soon I never wanted to talk. It was very hard to converse with people after that.

 

I finally switched schools my 10th grade year and met 3 wonderful people who became my greatest friends. That lovely patch of happiness didn't last because in the last 2 years of high school I realized how selective, unfair, and sneaky the people at my school were. Since I wasn't the one of the smartest people there, I was boarded off from receiving any attention from teachers or help. I didn't constantly kiss butt and thus I was shoved in a dusty corner to basically shrivel up and be forgotten. No matter how hard I worked, they wanted nothing to do with me. It got to the point where it felt like they ignored me on purpose. They praised others that just lifted their pinky to be awarded with respect while others were tossed away in a garbage can. Especially with my art. People would actually compliment it in class but then both teachers would come over to the person next to me, take pictures of their artwork, look at mine, say nothing, and walk away. No matter what I did, they just left me. After a few times I just taught myself and never showed them anything anymore. I would almost cry because I was so angry. Every class they encouraged the people around me to put up their art in an art show but not mine....even though I was doing the same stuff as them...one time I was so peeved I almost threw up....I started drawing crazy stuff. It affected my views on art which is a problem since I'm majoring in that subject.

 

It may no seem like that big of a deal, but because of all this I've become an independent, secluded person. I have a fear of meeting new people because of them judging me. I very rarely hang out with friends because I prefer to be alone. I have a hard time doing what I love because I've been tossed aside like week old socks. I'm afraid of standing in front of others. I've become somewhat of a cold person. I'm too quiet.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 10, 201312 yr by xoblivionx13

My heart goes out to you guys.  Your stories of hardship and how you overcame them have inspired me to keep my head up high and be thankful that my past, although not great, was not that bad either.  Thanks for that.

same for me.  hell, i can't even remember most of it, and it's my story...  all i've really got is the general lack of familial understanding, since none of my immediate family really knows how i think.  it's gotten a lot better since last year when my dad couldn't handle my apathy and inattentiveness about school and homework and kicked me out of the house, so i lived with my aunt and went through a bunch of family therapy sessions and was diagnosed with inattentive type ADD.  although my parents still don't really understand how i think and everything, they're at least trying now, which is more than they could say last year.