I know this is something I shouldn't share,but I just can't take this feeling anymore

 

Just today, my little sister fell unconciouspassed out twice as she couldn't eat anything yesterday and whenever she tries to eat she throws up

 

When she fell unconcious we all rushed to take her to the hospital,but out of all of them I just stood there and couldn't do anything aside from giving my dad the car's key and bringing water to my sister,I literally stood there freaked out,not knowing what to do in this situation.Thank God she woke up and turned out ok but I got this feeling again and I just can't stand it anymore.

 

Never before in my life have I felt so worthless than I did today.I should've done more for her,I should've been more useful than this,but I couldn't.I stood there in total confusion when I should've been a better brother and do more for her and my family in general.What would happen to my family if my fathermother got sick or died?Who's gonna look after my little brotherssisters if I was so worthless and useless to do anything?

 

My father used to call me a good-for-nothing manchild back when I was in high school,I guess he was right after all.The fact that I still couldn't find a job after I graduated,the fact that all of what I'm doing now is eating,sleeping,playing,setting on my fat ass browsing the internet and nothing else,everytime I think about it I feel that I'm worthless piece of shit that can't do anything productive or useful for his family

 

if I can't help anyone,neither my friends nor my family,then why am I here,what's the point of me if I'm not good at anything?

 

God help me,please God help me I hate feeling worthless,I hate this feeling so much and it always makes me cry just thinking about it.

 

 

 

I'm sorry I bothered you with my rant about my lack of self-esteem and confidence,I just..wanted to tell someone,I just can't take this feeling

anymore

 

I know it might not sound like a big deal,but I'm afraid of what's gonna happen in the future

Edited May 6, 201411 yr by Red Tribal

You shouldn't feel worthless.  People do different things under stress.  Like I freaked out and screamed when my sisters finger got cut off, not my finger, but I still freaked out. 

 

If she couldn't eat though she should have seen her GP, and got an anti-sickness tablet that you let dissolve under your lip.  <--Tip for future I had to take one when I have spinal pain but kept throwing up pain killers.  Eventually I was put on morphine.  

It happens to plenty of people. When something terrifying happens all of a sudden a lot of people(like me when my dad was dying) get overcome by fear and fail to do anything.I think it's natural for that to happen.Here's something you can do: Try out different things that scare you, maybe it'll help beat some of the fear out of you. This was probably your first or second time experiencing such an incident so it's understandable that you'd be overcome by shock/fear.I often tell myself that panic is only going to cause problems and if anything ever goes wrong the first thing i do is take a few deep breaths and focus only onwhat needs to be done.

Well , loving your family is not called "worthless" , is it ?

You should talk to someone you trust about this or a guidance councillor or something.

 

I wish you the best of luck in this difficult time.

I know how you feel. When my nephew was younger, my mom was changing his diaper. Then as my mom was changing him, he had turned blue (I don't know if there was a reason or not as to why), and she had to call the ambulance. As for me, I just completely freaked out and cried when my mom told me. I didn't even do anything. I'm not kidding. But the thought of losing my nephew while he was so young... T-T

It was a traumatic moment, you shouldn't feel worthless. It still sounds like you helped out in some way, and now she's okay. If you are concerned about being productive, then maybe you should look in to finding a job to do, but otherwise you shouldn't beat yourself up over this. It's your dad's fault for putting these doubts in your head in the first place, but you don't have to let them dominate your life. I don't think you're worthless, but I do think that one way of dealing with that feeling is by doing something productive. It might help.

It's a good thing that you experiencing this.It was a sign of what might happen to your family in the near future,and do not feel bad that you can't do a thing.At least you know what it feels like to be in a worse situation and you may cherish that as a valuable lesson in order for you to help your loved ones...

 

In other words,do not feel worthless,just do what you can and hoping that it will be alright...

Edited May 6, 201411 yr by Hazimie

Well, for one thing, your not worthless because you were there for your sister.  If you had a different mindset, you woulnd't have given a damn and you would have simply stayed in your room or done something else.  But the moment you witnessed your sister passing out, you and your family rushed her to the hospital.  Feeling shocked and paralyzed over a loved one's predicament, ailness or otherwise, is natural.  If I were in your place, I would have probably been as shocked as you.  What you have to keep in mind though, is that you love your sister, and the way you expressed yourself in your post proves it.  You aren't a useless or worthless person, you are her brother, and I know that deep in her heart, she knows you'll always be there for her, because that's what siblings are for.  Never doubt yourself and never feel bad about yourself, on the contrary, be proud of yourself for how much you care for your sister.  I wish you the best of luck with your family, and as for the future, think of this.  "Live for today, look forward to tomorrow."  No matter what lies ahead, always live with the hope that the next day will bring even better things.  I hope this helped you in any way my friend.

Red Tribal, here is what i think. i think your anything but worthless. just the fact that you wanted to help your sister proves that. you cared for your sister and REALLY wanted to help. don't focus on how much you didn't help. focus on how you cared for your sister with all your heart and wanted to help a lot. just the fact that you care for your sister, that you have feelings for the ones you love, means that you have value and are by no means worthless. if you go on thinking this then it will hinder your life. i say that you are an awesome dude and are by no means worthless at all! no go on and enjoy your life!

 

 

Also, anyone who calls someone a man child just isn't mature enough them selfs. The word man child from my recollection means a person who is over the age of say16-18 that likes things that are intended for kids like pokemon and such. That's the key word. INTENDED. I person can like anything he or she wants to like and should be able to do it without being called something that is considered bad. Your not hurting anyone by liking something intended for kids. If it makes you happy and your not hurting anyone by doing it then by all means it's a good thing to do. Don't listen when someone calls you a man child. They just think that people need to stop liking things that they liked before once someone gets older.

Edited May 6, 201411 yr by Mystics Apprentice

I know this is something I shouldn't share,but I just can't take this feeling anymore

 

Just today, my little sister fell unconciouspassed out twice as she couldn't eat anything yesterday and whenever she tries to eat she throws up

 

When she fell unconcious we all rushed to take her to the hospital,but out of all of them I just stood there and couldn't do anything aside from giving my dad the car's key and bringing water to my sister,I literally stood there freaked out,not knowing what to do in this situation.Thank God she woke up and turned out ok but I got this feeling again and I just can't stand it anymore.

 

Never before in my life have I felt so worthless than I did today.I should've done more for her,I should've been more useful than this,but I couldn't.I stood there in total confusion when I should've been a better brother and do more for her and my family in general.What would happen to my family if my fathermother got sick or died?Who's gonna look after my little brotherssisters if I was so worthless and useless to do anything?

 

My father used to call me a good-for-nothing manchild back when I was in high school,I guess he was right after all.The fact that I still couldn't find a job after I graduated,the fact that all of what I'm doing now is eating,sleeping,playing,setting on my fat ass browsing the internet and nothing else,everytime I think about it I feel that I'm worthless piece of shit that can't do anything productive or useful for his family

 

if I can't help anyone,neither my friends nor my family,then why am I here,what's the point of me if I'm not good at anything?

 

God help me,please God help me I hate feeling worthless,I hate this feeling so much and it always makes me cry just thinking about it.

 

 

 

I'm sorry I bothered you with my rant about my lack of self-esteem and confidence,I just..wanted to tell someone,I just can't take this feeling

anymore

 

I know it might not sound like a big deal,but I'm afraid of what's gonna happen in the future

 

I don't think you're worthless. You wanted to help your sister, and that doesn't make you worthless. 

 

 

It's okay to feel worried/afraid, because "I" do too. Chances are if you're <insert adjective> someone else is too. 

You shouldn't feel worthless.  People do different things under stress.  Like I freaked out and screamed when my sisters finger got cut off, not my finger, but I still freaked out. 

 

If she couldn't eat though she should have seen her GP, and got an anti-sickness tablet that you let dissolve under your lip.  <--Tip for future I had to take one when I have spinal pain but kept throwing up pain killers.  Eventually I was put on morphine.  

 

 

It happens to plenty of people. When something terrifying happens all of a sudden a lot of people(like me when my dad was dying) get overcome by fear and fail to do anything.I think it's natural for that to happen.Here's something you can do: Try out different things that scare you, maybe it'll help beat some of the fear out of you. This was probably your first or second time experiencing such an incident so it's understandable that you'd be overcome by shock/fear.I often tell myself that panic is only going to cause problems and if anything ever goes wrong the first thing i do is take a few deep breaths and focus only onwhat needs to be done.

 

 

Well , loving your family is not called "worthless" , is it ?

 

 

You should talk to someone you trust about this or a guidance councillor or something.

 

I wish you the best of luck in this difficult time.

 

 

I know how you feel. When my nephew was younger, my mom was changing his diaper. Then as my mom was changing him, he had turned blue (I don't know if there was a reason or not as to why), and she had to call the ambulance. As for me, I just completely freaked out and cried when my mom told me. I didn't even do anything. I'm not kidding. But the thought of losing my nephew while he was so young... T-T

 

 

It was a traumatic moment, you shouldn't feel worthless. It still sounds like you helped out in some way, and now she's okay. If you are concerned about being productive, then maybe you should look in to finding a job to do, but otherwise you shouldn't beat yourself up over this. It's your dad's fault for putting these doubts in your head in the first place, but you don't have to let them dominate your life. I don't think you're worthless, but I do think that one way of dealing with that feeling is by doing something productive. It might help.

 

 

It's a good thing that you experiencing this.It was a sign of what might happen to your family in the near future,and do not feel bad that you can't do a thing.At least you know what it feels like to be in a worse situation and you may cherish that as a valuable lesson in order for you to help your loved ones...In other words,do not feel worthless,just do what you can and hoping that it will be alright...

 

 

Well, for one thing, your not worthless because you were there for your sister.  If you had a different mindset, you woulnd't have given a damn and you would have simply stayed in your room or done something else.  But the moment you witnessed your sister passing out, you and your family rushed her to the hospital.  Feeling shocked and paralyzed over a loved one's predicament, ailness or otherwise, is natural.  If I were in your place, I would have probably been as shocked as you.  What you have to keep in mind though, is that you love your sister, and the way you expressed yourself in your post proves it.  You aren't a useless or worthless person, you are her brother, and I know that deep in her heart, she knows you'll always be there for her, because that's what siblings are for.  Never doubt yourself and never feel bad about yourself, on the contrary, be proud of yourself for how much you care for your sister.  I wish you the best of luck with your family, and as for the future, think of this.  "Live for today, look forward to tomorrow."  No matter what lies ahead, always live with the hope that the next day will bring even better things.  I hope this helped you in any way my friend.

 

 

Red Tribal, here is what i think. i think your anything but worthless. just the fact that you wanted to help your sister proves that. you cared for your sister and REALLY wanted to help. don't focus on how much you didn't help. focus on how you cared for your sister with all your heart and wanted to help a lot. just the fact that you care for your sister, that you have feelings for the ones you love, means that you have value and are by no means worthless. if you go on thinking this then it will hinder your life. i say that you are an awesome dude and are by no means worthless at all! no go on and enjoy your life!

 

 

Also, anyone who calls someone a man child just isn't mature enough them selfs. The word man child from my recollection means a person who is over the age of say16-18 that likes things that are intended for kids like pokemon and such. That's the key word. INTENDED. I person can like anything he or she wants to like and should be able to do it without being called something that is considered bad. Your not hurting anyone by liking something intended for kids. If it makes you happy and your not hurting anyone by doing it then by all means it's a good thing to do. Don't listen when someone calls you a man child. They just think that people need to stop liking things that they liked before once someone gets older.

 

 

I don't think you're worthless. You wanted to help your sister, and that doesn't make you worthless. 

 

 

It's okay to feel worried/afraid, because "I" do too. Chances are if you're <insert adjective> someone else is too. 

 

 

Thank you guys,and I mean that from the bottom of my heart,Thank you all

Thank you guys,and I mean that from the bottom of my heart,Thank you all

Anytime bud. ^_^

You should never feel worthless about worrying for your sister's life, ever. It's natural to feel fear in a situation like that, just some people can cope with it better but only after they have experienced it before and overcame their fear and you can do the same Red Tribal. Believe in yourself.

 

P.S: I've read all of the other posts people have made and...it makes me feel warm inside just knowing there are plenty of people on this forum who are ready and willing to support each other. I love this place.

You may not realize it Red Tribal, but you are in a great position right now.What you, your sister, and family went through was very unfortunate, but the thing to take away from this is that she is okay. These scenarios happen often, and very few of us are able to do anything substantial for the victim, so you should feel absolutely no guilt for what happened to your sister. You did what you could, which was similar to what many of us would have done, no one could ask for more.In regards to the great position you are in, this event has helped you to recognize some aspects of your life that you are not content with. Take this opportunity to do something to improve your life, whatever that may be. There are thousands of things I could list (find a job, work out, go to church, etc.), but only you can decide what is best for you and your family. Remember that terrible feeling you had (which I think is more helplessness than worthlessness) and use it as fuel towards something that will never let you feel that way again.Hope all goes well for you and your family bro! You all will be in my prayers, good luck!  :lol:

I think you are being quite hard on yourself . You were there for your sister the best you knew how . Support and love go a long way in any persons recovery.Don't underestimate yourself .As for your dad, there are some parents who are very critical of their children hoping to push them more into achieving. In reality it can tear someones self confidence down and further damage their self image . That doesn't do anything to help their child achieve more . If you feel like you haven't achieved much and are worthless you need to find out what you can do to change that in yourself so you don't feel that way . Learn to believe in who you are and what you are capable of. You have greatness in you so let it shine through ! Remember that ! You are responsible for your own future with the choices you make so choose to be strong and make the changes you feel you need to help better yourself . You have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love others . Be strong .I say this bc I have survived a lot of horrible things but I learned to survive and rise above it all with inner power and strength .You can do this too. I believe in you.

Fact: You have concerns over your sister and took immediate action. That alone proves you did something that contradicts being worthless. You can have people (for instance, your father) criticize you being a nobody for not doing the things they expect, but by any chance did said person assist you in getting a job or community service? Did they ever realize, for example, how difficult is it to get a job when every firetrucking person wants someone with experience? (not even a little, like 2 year-experience) Nope. Again, taking action such as this situation alone proves the opposite of worthless.

 

I'd suggest you try out community service at least. I heard it helps for references. Be glad your in great shape and not like those with disabilities at a young age, or stupid diseases that are unstable. (Btw I had a similar situiation of being graduated, not finding a job at first, just sitting on my ass once daily cleaning/responsibilties/etc were done, except I can't work for who-knows-when because of a disease that is so hardto control.) Once you find a job, you'll be on a roll.

 

Anyways don't put yourself down. You did what you could and every little contribution helps on the long run.

First off, I'm so very sorry to hear about your sister.  That's really just awful, and I pray that she's doing better.

 

Secondly, I wouldn't consider yourself worthless for not reacting differently.  As many prior posters pointed out, everyone responds to high-crisis moments differently.  I know that I myself don't respond to them very well.  Instead of reacting appropriately I tend to go numb and freeze, partly in shock with what's happening.  It really stinks, and I wish that I was able to react and respond better.  Anyhow, what I'm trying to say is that plenty of people respond in the way that you had, or worse, and that doesn't make you any less important or, God forbid, worthless.  Everyone has a purpose in this world, and if you feel that you're worthless perhaps you could try changing any of these aspects to improve this inaccurate feeling.  It's never to late to change things we don't like about our lives, even if it may seem like it.  Remember that. : )

 

Also, showing your family that you love and care is doing *a lot*, which is something irreplaceable that those outside of family would be hard-pressed to provide if you weren't there.  I'll bet that you just being there, being supportive, and loving them means a lot, and therefore you aren't worthless in the least.  I understand the feeling, because I've been there, but please don't have such a negative image of yourself to think you're worthless.  I can guarantee that you're not.

three questions.

 

1: Do you love your sister?

 

2: if you could do more would you?

 

3: was it all legit? did you do everything in your power to help?

 

I know that was technically four, but answer them for me.

Thank you guys,and I mean that from the bottom of my heart,Thank you all

You got it.

three questions.

 

1: Do you love your sister?

 

2: if you could do more would you?

 

3: was it all legit? did you do everything in your power to help?

 

I know that was technically four, but answer them for me.

1Of course I do love,sure sometimes we may not get a long but I love her and I'll do everything I can to make sure she and all of my family are safe

 

2 and3 I told you I was in a total shock and confusion,which is why I felt that I'm useless as I couldn't do much,also I told you everything that happened today so there is no reason for me to lie about something that makes me feel a pain in my heart when I think about it

then don`t feel worthless! if love her, did everything in your power to help her or care for her, then you have no reason to feel this way. be glad she`s alive and know peace! relax, hang out with her. don`t loath yourself!

Everyone has a purpose. Please don't feel worthless. You were just shocked and paranoid when your sister collapsed, i would be too. I hope your sister is okay.

 

But I promise you that you'll find your purpose in life. Maybe you have a certain hobby, or a certain smile that can make anyone's day a lot brighter. Or you could say something to someone that could make their day. Pray to God, when you wake up and when you go to bad. Ask for his help. And he'll give you answers and advice in time. It'll all workout in the end, you'll see

Ok, just to let you know, this might not be as supportive compared to the others, but hear me out on this.

 

My supportive, empathetic side of me is saying basically what everyone else here is saying. Everyone has a different reaction to extreme distress, and you shouldn't really be too hard on yourself.

 

However, my other side is telling me a different way to help you out. Freezing up during a medical emergency is quite possibly the worst thing that an able bodied person who has the capabilities to help others can do. You admit to screwing up during the most critical period, so... rather than worry over it, do something about it. Grab a medical/emergency first aid book and read the hell out of it, and I mean REALLY read the hell out of it. memorize the sequences of first aid response, and then imagine scenario after scenario of something like that happening, after which you should imagine executing the maneuvers with precision and authority.

 

Why am I telling you this? I did this borderline paranoid stuff because I'm afraid something would happen to my parents and I need to react to save their lives. And something did happen to them while I was away at school one day: my father almost cut off his finger while slicing up some meat for dinner, and passed out. What did my family do while this emergency happened and he almost died that day? Some of them cried, and my mother could only shake him while continuously asking him if he was ok, even though he wasn't responding. My little brother had some sanity and finally called me [16 minutes later. in which he would have been dead from blood loss] and told me over the phone, to which I had the sense to call emergency services and get him real help. Fortunately, he was able to stop the bleeding before passing out, and that action alone saved his life [so essentially, he saved his own life.]

 

Point is: Now that you know what happens and how you reacted, prepare yourself in case something like this happens again, or worse. You never know: When another medical emergency like this happens again [family or otherwise], YOU might be the only one who can help at the most crucial time. Sure, others may finally stop panicking and then start helping, but by then it would already be too late. Arm yourself with knowledge on how to deal with emergencies like this and worse, and when it hits again you won't feel so worthless [and possibly save a life].

Edited May 6, 201411 yr by Javelin434

As long as you was there for your sister you should not feel bad or worthless. The only thing you could have done wrong was to show that you do not care. Do not listen to negative people and their bull even if it is coming from a family member. Just like what Flaming Lea said, tough love does not work for everybody. Showing tough love works for some better then others. My dad does this to me too, he always says extremely rude and messed up things to me to toughen me up. But instead of helping me became a stronger person he just ends up making me feel less like a man. But one day I stop caring about what he and the world had to say and started listening to myself, which is the only thing that matters. You got to stop listening to the bull and start focusing on the positive

 

Don't get me wrong I still struggle with things like school, sports and girls. But I keep trying to improve myself, even if it is little by little everyday so one day I will get to where I need and want to be. You also have to stop self-loathing yourself because it is counter-productive. Since you put these negatives thoughts in your head , you are going to start believing in them, then you will become the very thing you fear the most. You need to find out what is holding you back, once you figure that out, you will have to start improving on those things even if they SEEM like they are out of your control. Only you can make your life a success or not. Everybody on KH13 believes in you man. So go out there and make life your B!tch

What you did was a natural reaction. If you're really shocked like that, you sometimes don't know what to do. We all have those moments. It doesn't make you worthless. What matters is that you care about your sister, and love her. Besides, you did some things to help. Even the smallest things can help out in these types of situations. The smallest contributions can show that you really do care. That's what's important in the end.

 

As for you feeling worthless for not having a job, I know the feeling. I tend to feel the same way often. I can't really give the best advice, but I can try. As someone here said earlier, if your father is really so frustrated with you not having a job, ask him to help you find one. Try to do some research for jobs in your area, and find one that suits you. That's all the advice that I really have for that one.