I don't know, I guess there's just some sort of secret that everyone else has figured out.  Maybe it's because so many people thought I was incapable.  Not only did they like "spoon feed" me, but constantly told me with their actions that "you're not good enough."  Even my peers.  I know they didn't mean it, but while they focused on others, they ended up hurting me.  Maybe it's the way it's always been.  I didn't lose my training wheels until well after everyone else did.  I couldn't type efficiently until I was 14.  I still can't drive.  It just feels weird that my significantly younger cousins are driving.  I feel like I'm not good enough.  I'm not ready.  And even if I was, I don't want to take that test because I know that they're going to find a way to mess me over.  Because it's me and that's all adults seem to want to do.  For example, in 7th grade, we had a double advisory class. I was in one class and two of my friends were in another.  I was so happy I would be actually be able to sit with my friends and then the teachers told us that our classes would have to sit on different sides of the room.  Or what about the next year when three of my friends were in my gym period but they were in one class and I was in another class with no one.  And then another friend transfers in and gets put into that gym class.  I swear the people at this school did these things just to tick me off.  And each time I went to a new school same thing would happen.  I'd find my place, be really happy and then I'd go somewhere else and have to start all over again.  This time, I'm on my own and I have absolutely no idea where to go.  Just all of a sudden, things stopped being laid out in front of me and people expect me to know what to do and know where to go.  It's some secret that everyone else has figured out.  But no one let me because they thought I wasn't good enough.

Oh believe me, I've felt behind everyone for about 8 years. I've almost killed myself as many times as that for feeling that way. You'll get used to it.

I don't think I can help much, but I'll try

 

I guess that when it comes to overcome something, you've got to feel confident and don't feel you're behind everyone else like you've stated, it comes to be a self awarenes issue rather than "what others think". For example, thinking that you can't pass the driving test because "they're going to find a way to mess me over" is quite a negative thought; if instead of thinking about it that way you think that you're going to do amazingly and you'll pass with flying colours, you've got more of a chance

 

And I don't know what to say about you always being far from your friends at school, that's just really bad luck

I'm pretty much almost slow at everything.

Well I think you need to stop comparing yourself to others and just be the best "Joan" you can be. If you are negative and think the worst from the start you have already made it harder on yourself to achieve anything and are your own worst enemy. Remember, what you think might come easy for everyone else might not be the case bc everyone has their own private struggles and it's how you approach them and what you do about them that makes or breaks you. Don't sabotage yourself with negativity from yourself or even others. I always find that some of my best accomplishments were achieved when everyone thought I couldn't. Not everything will go your way and instead of wallowing in your own sorrow it's best to brush it off and move on to a new way to achieve what you want. Perseverance and the right attitude will get you many places my friend. Chin up

I think it's very normal to feel that others are ahead of you or are smarter than you.  I have had a few friends feel this way, as well as having partially felt this way in the past.  I have done most things late in life, and still there's so many things that I haven't done that I feel most people my age have already accomplished.  It isn't about others, though, but rather knowing that you're putting your all into everything you do and that you're trying new things all of the time.  We each develop and learn in different ways, and what matters is that you try.  You can't give up, no matter how much you fail! : )  You're just as capable as everyone else and it is only a matter of personally being ready.  I am sure that you will accomplish everything everyone else is, and then some.  It's just a matter of being ready.  It will come when the time comes, so long as you keep making an effort toward it and fighting for what you want.  You're not alone in such feelings and don't ever let other people's accomplishments make you feel bad.  It is a horrible thing to live in another person's shadow and compare yourself to them, and it seems you have fallen into the trap that is all too common.

 

I'd say go out there and show all those people what you really can do! : )  It may not be overnight--or even over the course of a year--but with time and dedication you can accomplish so much.  It's amazing what all of us as individuals are capable of, and you are, too!

Believe me everyone feels behind in some fashion. There's always something people are striving for my friend.

Havent logged into this forum in a couple years but I still come here for news and read certain topics that interest me and yours did. Im 23 years old, and let me tell you. I feel behind on everything, everyone i went to school with are way ahead of me. Have their own place, are married and/or have children. I just started dating last year and just got my car and license last year too. At age 22 -_-, so believe me when I say i know how you feel. I hate it so much, knowing everyone is ahead of me. And even my ex, that did me so wrong is starting to get ahead and shes only 19 years old. Sure, it gets me depressed sometimes. But as corny as it sounds, I think of Naruto, who was always behind everyone else. Crappy grades, slow at learning techniques and moving up in the world and now he's Hokage. Second only to Sasuke (in my opinion) in terms of ability. 

 

So yeah it seems childish and it is anime, but I'd like to think that anime like that and games like Kingdom Hearts has helped me keep level headed. These are things created by real people and have most likely experienced what we have/are expericing now. So we may be behind now but we'll get there. Just remember each time you reach a new plateau something will come from behind and destroy you. Its the balance of nature. Can't have all the good without the bad. As soon as I got a better paying job things started happening, like I lost my car and I just got it back today. Now I'm broke until next week. Just remember everything happens for a reason. Your bad experiences will help you learn how to be a better human being in the future. Just keep trying and youll get there one day.

Havent logged into this forum in a couple years but I still come here for news and read certain topics that interest me and yours did. Im 23 years old, and let me tell you. I feel behind on everything, everyone i went to school with are way ahead of me. Have their own place, are married and/or have children. I just started dating last year and just got my car and license last year too. At age 22 -_-, so believe me when I say i know how you feel. I hate it so much, knowing everyone is ahead of me. And even my ex, that did me so wrong is starting to get ahead and shes only 19 years old. Sure, it gets me depressed sometimes. But as corny as it sounds, I think of Naruto, who was always behind everyone else. Crappy grades, slow at learning techniques and moving up in the world and now he's Hokage. Second only to Sasuke (in my opinion) in terms of ability. 

 

So yeah it seems childish and it is anime, but I'd like to think that anime like that and games like Kingdom Hearts has helped me keep level headed. These are things created by real people and have most likely experienced what we have/are expericing now. So we may be behind now but we'll get there. Just remember each time you reach a new plateau something will come from behind and destroy you. Its the balance of nature. Can't have all the good without the bad. As soon as I got a better paying job things started happening, like I lost my car and I just got it back today. Now I'm broke until next week. Just remember everything happens for a reason. Your bad experiences will help you learn how to be a better human being in the future. Just keep trying and youll get there one day.

Let me tell you that every story has a message behind it. Naruto's story has got that message behind it, it's not childish to be able to see that hiden message and let everyone else know about it

Well hey, you say that you're feeling behind everyone, am I right?

 

But I say that you have potential, and lots of it!  You have to look at yourself in the mirror and say that you're a person who can do anything you set your mind to!  Own your fears, own your insecurities and stand up for yourself, show everyone else that you can do what they think you can't do!  Sure, it can be hard, and it can downright be frustrating, but hey, you just have to keep going, no matter what happens!  Learn to have confidence in yourself, and always remember that you have a purpose! Never think that you're not good enough!  Always think good of yourself, ya know?

 

Things may be complicated, scary even, but you just have to keep moving forward and don't let fear rule your life, ya know?  Don't let people tell you that you are or aren't good enough!  Whatever you do, do it for yourself, for your own desire to persevere!  

 

And that, as they say, is that!  Best of luck, Ms. Joan! ^_^

Edited April 23, 20169 yr by The Transcendent Key

I don't know, I guess there's just some sort of secret that everyone else has figured out.  Maybe it's because so many people thought I was incapable.  Not only did they like "spoon feed" me, but constantly told me with their actions that "you're not good enough."  Even my peers.  I know they didn't mean it, but while they focused on others, they ended up hurting me.  Maybe it's the way it's always been.  I didn't lose my training wheels until well after everyone else did.  I couldn't type efficiently until I was 14.  I still can't drive.  It just feels weird that my significantly younger cousins are driving.  I feel like I'm not good enough.  I'm not ready.  And even if I was, I don't want to take that test because I know that they're going to find a way to mess me over.  Because it's me and that's all adults seem to want to do.  For example, in 7th grade, we had a double advisory class. I was in one class and two of my friends were in another.  I was so happy I would be actually be able to sit with my friends and then the teachers told us that our classes would have to sit on different sides of the room.  Or what about the next year when three of my friends were in my gym period but they were in one class and I was in another class with no one.  And then another friend transfers in and gets put into that gym class.  I swear the people at this school did these things just to tick me off.  And each time I went to a new school same thing would happen.  I'd find my place, be really happy and then I'd go somewhere else and have to start all over again.  This time, I'm on my own and I have absolutely no idea where to go.  Just all of a sudden, things stopped being laid out in front of me and people expect me to know what to do and know where to go.  It's some secret that everyone else has figured out.  But no one let me because they thought I wasn't good enough.

I did not finish reading this because I was not happy with what I was reading you say about you. I want you to know this: you are a fine young woman. There is nothing wrong with you. So you did some things at different times than others. So you were not able to drive while your cousins could. So you did this, so you did that, IT DOESN'T MATTER! You are where God intends you to be. You will mature and learn. Who cares if it isn't as fast as everyone else? You give your best and leave the results up to God. life is a learning experience and some people need more time to learn than others. Besides, why be in the main stream when you could be your own unique person? You are not behind and you ARE good enough. Do not doubt that for a moment. No one is out to get you or upset you on purpose. They see where you are and make the adjustments so you can attain the max benefits. You are a fine person and a unique young woman. Don't ever forget. Actually, got it memorized?

Edited April 23, 20169 yr by KingdomHearts3

This isn't going to be a lot of help, but I know how you feel. Things will even out. Just don't dwell on the feeling you "did something wrong", and tell yourself your life is okay as it is, and everything will come in time. 

That was probably no help at all, but that's my two cents for you. 

I am sort of going through similar pain, Joan.

 

 

 

The idea of others not telling you stuff you should have the right to know about until later is a hard and hurtful feeling...

 

But now, I've realized, after all these years, I've learned so much more by teaching myself. I've watched my friends, family, not-so-friendly classmates, and a lot of the pro athletes, too.

 

Instead of feeling like the side-character of someone else's awesome story, do your best and make a story of your own! Do something that makes you shred the ground with fire that really stands out. Not literally, but I mean do something you've learned on your own or through examples.

 

I'll tell you something, actually, anyone can read this.

 

I used to believe my brother was more important than I could ever be to anyone else that's not my family. He had more friends; talks more; he also comes home every day with a new story from school. I used to be quite jealous in the past few years. But now I see a life in me that might just be worth doing my hardest for. I may not have more friends than I had two years ago, but after seeing just how well my brother is doing, I don't need to worry about him so much. My mom and my dad are doing okay, too! An old saying my mom usually says to me when I tell my family how much I worry and care about the other people in my life and outside of it: "Don't worry about them, their problems aren't yours. Worry about yourself first." What I think she was trying to say was that I shouldn't think I need to surpass someone or a group of individuals in order to do the things I hope to achieve. I need to see the goal, and put my own effort towards it, without letting others' successes get me down.

 

Do you have a desire? Go for it. Do you want to find true love? Go for it. Do you want to get respect? Go for it. All you have to do is JUMP!

 

Join

Unify

Mix

Party

 

JUMPing is how you get others to see what YOU can do. (I made this up just now. ) Your talents will only be revealed if you choose to reveal them.

 

Join a local group in a sport or whatever you're into. (Maybe helping others in your community)

Unify your family in your own way.

Mix up the ordinary routine with a different choice.

Party with your friends on the proper dates and places.

 

I'm kinda rambling on now, aren't I? Ahahaha! Well to sum this up: You are good enough, no matter what others can do. Others' talents are great and all, but so can yours!

 

 

 

 

 

Rock on!

Ah, don't worry, I feel like the odd one out amongst my friends and family as well. It's so hard to talk to someone when their interests are completely different to yours, but somehow, it works out in the end.

 

What you need to do is to stop being pessimistic and look towards the future. You are going to be fine. You can make it. If others are dragging you down, you leave them be because you don't need that crap. There is no need to worry about being different. We were all behind at some point. If you seriously feel like your behind everyone, then you need to catch up and possibly even get ahead of them. Get your driver's license, study, do whatever you must, but never say that you can't do it, because the moment you do, you're a failure.

 

Don't tell yourself you can't do it, because you can. You will make it and you will be fine.

Thanks guys.  You are the most awesome people I know.

Me every day since last year tbh. Just keep moving, I guess!

I don't know, I guess there's just some sort of secret that everyone else has figured out.  Maybe it's because so many people thought I was incapable.  Not only did they like "spoon feed" me, but constantly told me with their actions that "you're not good enough."  Even my peers.  I know they didn't mean it, but while they focused on others, they ended up hurting me.  Maybe it's the way it's always been.  I didn't lose my training wheels until well after everyone else did.  I couldn't type efficiently until I was 14.  I still can't drive.  It just feels weird that my significantly younger cousins are driving.  I feel like I'm not good enough.  I'm not ready.  And even if I was, I don't want to take that test because I know that they're going to find a way to mess me over.  Because it's me and that's all adults seem to want to do.  For example, in 7th grade, we had a double advisory class. I was in one class and two of my friends were in another.  I was so happy I would be actually be able to sit with my friends and then the teachers told us that our classes would have to sit on different sides of the room.  Or what about the next year when three of my friends were in my gym period but they were in one class and I was in another class with no one.  And then another friend transfers in and gets put into that gym class.  I swear the people at this school did these things just to tick me off.  And each time I went to a new school same thing would happen.  I'd find my place, be really happy and then I'd go somewhere else and have to start all over again.  This time, I'm on my own and I have absolutely no idea where to go.  Just all of a sudden, things stopped being laid out in front of me and people expect me to know what to do and know where to go.  It's some secret that everyone else has figured out.  But no one let me because they thought I wasn't good enough.

Trust me friend, you're not the only one who feels like this. My whole life, and even now, I've always felt like I've been left behind in life. I always seem perpetually late to the party as it were. I'm 25 years old and still working on a driver's license, I'm trying to get into a different college, I've never dated at all (but I don't worry about that anymore) and I still live at home when ppl my age have been on their own for a while now. But over time, I've come to peace with that. Everyone goes through life at their own pace and in God's own timing. Its just how the world works. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it just means you travel to the beat of a different drum.

Joan, I know exactly where you're coming from. In my case, though, I'm probably farther behind than you are. I am now 28 years old. While I have taken college courses, I never really cared to finish college, and figured I'd just live my life one day at a time. Further more, I am working on buying a car for the first time. I am the youngest of six kids in my family. All of them are now married and have some kind of career or path that they are following. Meanwhile, here I am. A single 28-year old man with no degree, no vehicle, and still, I am unsure what I want to do in life. All I know is that I have short-term goals to get my car by fall, and I would like to start taking college courses again. I originally wanted to major in computer science, since computers have always been my passion. But I feel like if I do that, then it will only become a job, and I will lose my love for computers over time. From what I've read from your profile, you already have a Computer Science degree, and you are still only 25. I know it's not much, but take comfort knowing that you are farther ahead in life that many others, even many who are older than you.

Hello.  New face here.  I concur with everyone in that you have to keep moving forward, and in the words of a beloved movie of mine Treasure Planet "Stick to it, no matter the squalls!"  No matter how far behind you think you are, you'll get there.  Sometimes the road can be bumpy, overly difficult, or obscenely out of the ordinary (the last one being my case, for the most part, as I became more independent in my mid-20s after a horrible, crippling string of years), but no matter what you cannot give up, and years later you will smile upon your accomplishments and say, "I did that, and I proved them all wrong."

 

If you do decide to give up on something, however, such as playing piano because you cannot delve fully into it, find another something with which you feel more comfortable.  Perhaps it is a vocation.  Perhaps it is a hobby.  You are still young and with a gifted mind, given your Computer Science degree, and you'll find your niche or your starting point for your niche.

 

Like a lot of folks here, I followed a differing life from the cultural standards of late-teen independence.  I drove at a late age because I did not want to be a cause of public endangerment (being behind the wheel is scary at first, especially if the first moment you drive with your dad at the age of fifteen a police officer sweeps by, looks down his nose at you, asks your age and why you're in an abandoned parking lot doing donuts).  I finished college late with an engineering degree and got a job in my field after three years of searching.  I first fell in love three years ago and married a year and a half ago (I'm ol-l-ld!).  Not everything is tea parties and sunshine at the moment--I'm still wrestling with troubles--but keeping a level head and taking everything in stride does a lot, especially if augmented with caring friends and family.

 

The moral of the story?  Live, love, and improve at your own pace.  Challenge yourself if you'd like the challenge or to prove you're the better man/woman, or work steadily towards being a better future for you.  As self-centred as it seems, it is an age-old truth that you need to help yourself before you can help others, or elsewise be supported by a partner to build up each other.  A little extra help doesn't hurt either, and if anyone would like assistance in their pickle or struggle I offer my garnered knowledge.

 

May God be with you all, and keep up the good fight.