Life is unpredictable. Case closed, no dispute, no riddle, it' just that. Life. Cannot. Be. Entirely. Planned. For. You can estimate, you can guess, you can meticulously "prepare" for what you think will come or happen in the future, and even have what you call a "gut" instinct, but sometimes life does the exact opposite of what we anticipate, and in turn, that can make us feel a little empty. Make us feel...out of control, or unable to control our own life and/or environment. It doesn't make us bad people, or inadequate, it just reminds us of how (as humans) limited our control over everything really is. So your cousin was supposed to be Clara, and not Walter? You felt it deep inside, but it didn't happen? Don't fret over that...obviously, despite your own wants or expectations, Walter was supposed to be brought into this world. You may not know now why your expectation was wrong, or why this happened, but there is an end purpose for it. Nothing happens without reason, or so I've learned in life.
If you are truly feeling disconnected however, perhaps take a few steps back, and recollect. Say to yourself: Are my "gut instincts" truly what's supposed to happen, or my own personal desires? There's a huge difference. Sometimes our mind and spirit can become so clouded or weighted down with daily happenings, that we confuse the two.